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Thursday, 20 September 2007

Now men are complaining too……

With all the women’s lib and the women joining hand to fight against the cruelty of men, I was surprised today when I read in the papers ‘Spouse abuse: It’s the husband’s turn now’. Husbands are complaining?…. It says ‘98% of the 1,650 urban husbands surveyed said they had been victims of violence in their married lives. Wow! I never thought of that!’ Nagging, grumbling, taunting, name calling, refusing food, denying sexual intercourse, abusing parents and family members, snatching salary, throwing objects, scratching with nails and biting, threats of suicide and even eviction from the house were some of the common forms of abuse that husbands are complaining. The study, conducted by two non-governmental organizations (NGOs) - Save Indian Family Foundation and My Nation - looked at four aspects of domestic violence — economical, emotional, physical and sexual. In a sample survey of 1,650 urban men, almost 98% of the respondents said they had suffered violence under one or the other of these heads more than once. I am highly confused. Why it is that in a marriage, one of the spouses is always suffering? Most of the married couple I see, it is always the stronger one, who rules. Why can’t they learn to respect each other? Isn’t marriage supposed to be of compatibility and understanding? Many times, I get caught in the couple abuse. It is very embarrassing for me when they are arguing and abusing each other and I wonder if this is what marriage is all about? I cannot take sides and I think of various excuses of moving away from this situation. Something they argue for a very long time and then there is tension for next few days, and I wonder, will they get back or is this going to lead to divorce? But why do those couple continue to argue over senseless things? I think to be able to live happily and tension free one could learn to respect and accept each others. Everybody have some weakness, if we can overlook their weakness and concentrate on their good points we can make a clean atmosphere and create positive vibrations into the house. In a relationship, ego should never rule. That is the root cause of every problem. If we are able to keep a loving spirit in our nature, and solve the problems with maturity, there can never be any misunderstanding.

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