Living in a Talibanised Society

There is a news article about a British Muslim woman who feels that veil is simply a tool of oppression which is used to alienate and control women under the guise of religious freedom and is calling on the government to follow the lead of French President Nicolas Sarkozy and ban burkha in the country. She feels that the veil restricts women. It stops them achieving their full potential in all areas of their life, and it stops them from communication. It sends out a clear message: 'I do not want to be part of your society.' This reminds me of my trip to Kuwait some years ago. While in Kuwait, I saw many women in burkhas. I knew that they were fashionable from their selection of high heeled shoes and their beautiful, smooth white skin that was laced with crystal bracelets and diamond rings. The eyes that peeped through that slit also had mascara and eye make-up. The women moved in groups and I would see them in malls shopping for branded clothes. On my way back to Mumbai, I was wheeled to my seat before the other passengers. I saw many women in burkha board the aircraft. But this particular woman had left a lasting impression on me. She had approached my seat, and confirmed it to be next to mine. Before sitting, she went to cloakroom. When she came back, she had burkha under her arm. The woman who sat next to me was chirpy teenager with a sweet smile and was dressed in branded jeans and noodle-strapped blouse.

Culinary Chat

Whenever I visit my friends I am surprised by the number of dishes that are served on a dining table, there will be great assortments like Rice, Chappatis, two starter, dhal, two different vegetables, yogurt, aachar and papad. One big Thali!!!!How can we eat so many things? I am always confused if my plate is filled up with so many different delicacies. Should I eat Rice first or should it be Chappati? And Indians feel insulted if you don’t eat what they have so lovingly cooked for you, so you have to stuff yourself and that is not all, after lunch comes a bowl of fruits and then deserts like ice-cream or kulfi and finally Paan…..gosh how do they do it? I am beginning to hate masalas in food that means that I am not enjoying outside food and would like to cook all my meals with as little masalas as possible. That’s the reason I like Chinese…it takes so little time to cook and yet so tasty. Like today I made this shredded chicken, Chinese style. I had marinated chicken in garlic, chicken cube and soya sauce for half an hour. On a very high flame I stir-fried the marinated chicken, added spring onion, green chilies, red/green/yellow capsicum, and the dish was ready in just ten minutes. Had it with rice and the little empty space in my stomach I filled it up with orange juice. See, so easy? It is better than preparing Indian dishes where we keep stirring and stirring till the arms get sore. If it takes just ten minutes to eat the food, why should it take two hours to cook it? We just have to fill stomach, we must eat to live and not live to eat. Feasting on food should be reserved only during festivals when burping is the sign of enjoyment. Right?

BollyWood is ‘Maid’ up of all ‘Un-Shiney’ people! Rascal! Bai-Sexual!

Every news channel in India is talking about Shiney Ahuja…(see, I can remember his name, for otherwise, I am lousy at remembering names,.) Well, this Shiney looked like a nice guy in movies.(.but then, most of the heroes in the film do look good, what with all that make-up et-al)…but, he turned out to be such a big goonda…raping a maid? Bollywood is filled up with people who could have readily quenched his libido, free of charge, why go and rape a helpless minor? Is he really ‘Bai-sexual’ (like my friend commented on her FB status.) And, his wife comes to his rescue… “Anupam Ahuja on Wednesday mounted a spirited defense of her husband Shiney Ahuja who has been accused of raping their maid in their Oshiwara home.” Screamed the paper headlines today. Now, that is strange! I am sure his wife knows him well, why is she defending him,and blaming the maid of raping her husband?? At a press conference, she said her ‘soulmate’ and ‘doting father to our daughter’ was innocent and was being framed. “Rape is a very heinous crime and in these times, rape can be committed not just by a man; we all know that even a woman can do it,” she said, adding that her husband was being framed “possibly because he is a celebrity and all celebrities are soft targets’’. And I want to ask her as to how will she explain the blood on the scene of crime (bed) and the brutal marks on her body? There are clear evidences that the girl has been abused by her hubby, her dearest hubby, Ahem! Come on! Be practical Anupam. You must know your husband well. ….let him rot in jail for seven years, let his career be doomed for ever This will be a good lesson for all men who take poor people for granted and believe that they can freely abuse anyone.. arrey.. Media is strong now-a-days. Don’t you know that? You really cannot fool around… Very powerful I say, and very strong… and the media's verdict is 'GUILTY' NOW, BUT, PARANTU, KINTU, over to justice, law and police...proof, money, witness, believers, nonbelivers...Fate will be decided by luck alone.... Prayers might also help Understand?

Should we use pincers to block the stink?

I have travelled to Pune from Mumbai four times during these last two months, visiting my family again and again. Although it is just four hours ride by Volvo, I want a break of journey. I eagerly wait for bowel relief at Lonavala. Can’t help it, every time I see a service room I want to oblige. \ During these stops, I rush off to a rest room before I can even think of cup-a- coffee, or bite of batatawadas. (Lonavala is known for its hot and spicy Vada-Pav) But, when I enter a loo, I am always disappointed. My stomach goes somersaulting into its customary grip. However beautiful the bathroom may be constructed with Formica doors, shiny tiles and steel taps, the bathrooms are always wet and dirty. The stink over-powers the air from ventilation, seems like some decaying corpse is behind one of those doors. The attendants are either fast asleep or you have them staring at you, begging for some tip. “Clean this darn toilet puleeeej” I want to scream at them, but looking at their bored expression, I just wrap my nose with my scarf and finish my job in a jiffy. There is overwhelming sense of annoyance and frustration followed instantly by depression. Wat-d-heck?? Don’t people in India know to use western toilets????? Come on!!!! How do they make the toilets wet? Why are there no toilet tissue rolls in there? Why are the taps always leaking?? Must we carry our own toilet tissue rolls everywhere? Most of the Indians are used to squat toilets and therefore must be confused when they see western toilets. I believe, they must not be using the seats, but sitting on the floor instead and throwing gallons of water on the floor after use. Or maybe they are squatting on the top of the bidet. It is important to educate them as to how they must use it. Something should be done. I am really fed up of all this stink and dirt. Thinking of some solutions? Thinking, thinking, thinking,,,Got it!!! Maybe, tiles of this kind can be installed in every public toilet that will guarantee the right way to sit on the toilet seat... Better still, a cleansing jet of water designed to wash the anus of the user of this bidet-style toilet should be installed at every toilet. That way, they won’t play with water to pass time or splash water on the walls and door. Or maybe a coin operated toilet? Isn’t that a good idea? If such facilities are available to Indians, they might forfeit the idea of urinating on the walls or carry their tin mugs to the nearest fields to relieve themselves and they may even help keep our toilets clean!! Air fresheners will not be a problem; I am willing to invent some creative ideas to sell them commercially.

What should I wear????

Each time I receive a wedding invitation, I get worried…No, I am not unhappy that one more couple is getting married. Actually I have nothing against any one getting married, it’s okay for me if they want to start a new life together but why give me an invitation to attend their marriage? What work do I have? I am not required to perform any rites, nor do I enjoy dancing or singing loudly at the weddings. I don’t even drink any hard/soft drinks nor eat those oily foodstuffs with dripping mayonnaise. So what do I do at these weddings? Just dress up and keep a smile? Dressing up? Now that’s another headache! I am worried about what shall I wear? The other day, I went with the groom’s mother for her shopping and I was shocked. Each outfit was costing her around 80-90 grand! Then there were solitaires and fancy footwear. During the wedding she will be worth more than 2 lakhs at each occasion. And there are four such occasions before and after the wedding. I asked her as to why would she spend so much money in doling herself, when it is not even her wedding and she said that she was groom’s mom, the centre of attraction, and would want to look good in photographs. The hostess should be well dressed. Okay! So where do I fit in? Whatever I wear, it will look cheap even if it costs me 10 grand. (Not that I will spend so much money on one outfit.. Nah! not me) And why must I invest so much money for somebody else’s wedding? And what do I do with that outfit after the wedding is over, can I repeat it? I could, only if there are different set of people but if there are same group of people at another wedding then repeating is a sin. They might say ”Oh this outfit., I remember. You still have it? You also wore it at XYZ’s wedding. Hai na??” Come on, you don’t expect me to throw away my expensive clothes after just one wash, do you? Gimme a break!!! So, the second best thing is not to attend the wedding at all. I will bless the couple online maybe in my night suit. Who care!

Caferati Read-Meet (23rd May 09) at Belapur

There were no Samosas this time, but still I enjoyed the read-meet like I always do, but then, who says that we go to eat Samosas?…it is read-meet, right? So, you are supposed to meet and read.. get it? Also, when somebody is reading in this group, then, you are supposed to listen carefully, and not allow your mind to wander away, looking around, admiring the paintings on the walls, or clicking pictures because, at the end of each read, you are expected to give a feedback. (think! think! did you like it? what did you like? what doesn't work for you?) everybody is expected to participate(Imagine, if ever body gave the feedback then who would be the just listener? not allowed huh?) Now, giving feedback is such a pain...Grrrhh! (array baba, giving feedback is also an art na, that has to be developed,) you need a loud voice and confidence to speak your mind and, and, of course, you need to have editorial qualities to comment on some body’s else’s work without getting punched back on your face….. (I am afraid if they say, "you think you know better than me? huh? How dare you strip my work!") Okay. Okay, I will need to work on giving feedback too….But I just need time….Actually, I am not used to making personal comments unless I am asked to (I think people are noticing that I hardly ever comment at the read-meet and that, I am told is ‘not fair’, to get a feedback, we must learn to give it first....point noted... :) Anyways, this month, the read meet was organized at Menka’s beautiful garden behind her house, in the interiors of Belapur, way far from city of Mumbai. We sat under bougainvillea trees, to the back ground music of water fall, so close to nature, surrounded by the sweet fragrance of flowers. While we waited for the members to arrive, we had a small informal chat. We were discussing about the demography of the people of Mumbai verses people of Delhi and their behavior pattern, their habit of staring too much, their ability to cheat and lie and finally, we arrived at a conclusion that 'Delhi sucks'…… (sorry) Next, a formal read meet started with a small round of introduction, disclosing our ID and our nature of writings. And then the readings of fiction and poetry began. There were a long discussions after each reading, on points that were important for good writing, such as, making the fiction work more expressive, to show and not to tell, to chop off all the unnecessary details that are not important to te story, and to create a drama in order to get the attention of the reader/listener. There was much discussion on the usage of words such as editorial/reportage While editorial can be bias and can be just an opinion, reportage are pure facts and are written in formal accounts with correct details. For example: A RICH Man wanted to tell a certain lie, but the lie was of such monstrous size that it stuck in his throat; so he employed an Editor to write it out and publish it in his paper as an editorial. Policeman, on the other hand, will give the proper details to a reporter. Since the group was small, (only twelve people attended this month’s read meet). It ended early. Then came the best part…chow chow..peet puja…(I was hungry too) .there were (vegetarian and non vegetarian,) puff pastries, wafers and cake. The meeting lasted for over two hours and the group dispersed by 6:30pm. I was lucky, I got a lift back home, thanks to Menka, who had meeting to attend at Hotel Marriot and she would drive through my route (passing through Bandra)… I feel blessed, travelling in style…back home.

Tangy Taste

My friend, Aanchal Adukia, send me a SMS inviting me for demonstration of dips, dressing and salads. Naturally I was interested and decided to go and it was really worth it. My niece and I travelled for nearly an hour to reach her Malad residence. Her table was laden with all kinds of sauces and chopped veggies. On our arrival she served us a chilled drink made from ice tea, which had chopped apples, strawberries and squashed mint leaves. This was very refreshing. We sat on the dinning table and watched as she started demonstrating each dish. One tip she gave was that for mixing of salad, dips or dressing, it should be done in glass containers and it should be chilled before serving. She made three types of dips namely mango creamer, garlic and dill delite and parsley and parmesan dips These dips can be had with wafers, or vegetables like cucumber, carrots, radish, etc. Interesting way of serving these dishes are to keep the veggies strips in stripes along the long plate and insert a small cups of dips in between. Sounds interesting? hmmn! Then she went on to make three different types of dressings like Italian extravaganza, Miami blues and Island Myst. Of the three I enjoyed Italian extravaganza the most and loved the mustard flavor in it. In any dressing the common things that are used are olive oil, vinegar, salt, sugar and pepper. We can make the dressing or dips and store it in glass containers for more than one week…so that is good news for a lazy person like me, hahahaha, (pss.. actually I am not lazy at all) The salads were the most important part of this demonstration, and it just involves chopping and mixing. What is most important is the correct combination to get its rich taste. Some had walnuts in it and some had chestnuts, some had apples and some pomegranate…..the trick is the combination……. The next best part arrived when we sat down to taste…well I didn’t just taste, I ate and ate, till I was sure that I would not require any more helping….. And of course I skipped dinner……

Pure friendship have no name......

 It is important to hold on to those who genuinely care, because in times like these, they are very rare…..If we loosen our grip or snap our connection, there might not be another chance for redemption.

If we look around us, everybody is getting more and more selfish, and true love has ceased to exist. A do-gooder is always questioned for her intentions/design of why it is done. There has to be some motive behind an act, there can never be a deed without a purpose. Relationships are going sour. There is no genuine love in this world anymore.

What with those crazy labels that are attached to every relationship?

 If you love someone of opposite sex, you will be labeled as flirtatious, show the concern and love to same sex, and you will be labeled as gay/lesbian. Sex plays the important part in everybody’s life; there cannot be pure love anymore, especially not for a person who is single.

 A single person has to be pitied at all cost.

Why didn’t they find a mate? Is something wrong with them? What do single people do in their free time? Do they watch a porno to curb their libido? Or perhaps they use some dildos? Are they sex starved? It’s funny how far their imaginations can run.

 Sometimes I feel like addressing things. And what gets me tired is how often we can see the need to address things before we get tired of doing just that! I mean, why do we have to give explanations of our every deed and every act?

 One advantage a single person enjoys is that they don’t have to deal with insecurities of others. They are their own boss. If they decide to indulge in certain activities, it is purely for their pleasure. If they decide to reach out to people who care, it need not necessarily mean that they seek out sexual contentment.

 But the present scenario of gay/lesbian concept has eclipsed all relationships.

 Ouch! Even an innocent act of just holding hands, or a peck on a cheek, is watched suspiciously. Communication is important ... "how" we communicate is of the utmost importance. In the friendships, there may be pure intimate relationship and there is tendency to read "exactly” what is said without needing or wanting more because the outcome of a conversation may not have as much meaning as it is expected.

We're emotional beings ... right?

No apology necessary there... how we process these emotions and think things through can make all the world of difference.

 Friendship can be experienced and identified individually only by person involved in that relation. Until very recently, much of what has been documented about women's sexuality has been written by men, in the context of male understanding, and relevant to women's associations to men—as their wives, daughters, or mothers,

 During the 17th through 19th centuries, a woman expressing passionate love for another woman was fashionable, accepted, and encouraged. Whether the relationship included any genital component was not a matter for public discourse, but women could form strong and exclusive bonds with each other and still be considered virtuous, innocent, and chaste; a similar relationship with a man would have destroyed a woman's reputation. In fact, these relationships were promoted as alternatives to and practice for a woman's marriage to a man.

Around the turn of the 20th century the development of higher education provided opportunities for women. In all-female surroundings, a culture of romantic pursuit was fostered in women's colleges.

Older students mentored younger ones, called on them socially, took them to all-women dances, sent flowers, cards, and poems that declared their undying love for each other.

The invisibility of lesbians has gradually eroded since the early 1980s.

Psychiatrists and feminist philosophers noted that the rise in women acknowledging same sex relationships is due to growing social acceptance, but also conceded that "only a certain kind of lesbian—slim and elegant or butch in just the right androgynous way—is acceptable to mainstream culture. 

Yet, the term “Lesbians/Gay” is so liberally used in present scenario!

How ignorant can one get? It is outrageous! It has curbed our desire to express our love to people whom we truly care. FB has many applications to express our friendship, but we are afraid to post it to our virtual friends, always afraid of forming a wrong notion. Should we send a bear hug across? a gift perhaps or a comment on superwall? How intimate can one get over the internet?

 Should we really care?

Hottie Companions

I have tried many different types of chilies during my globe trotting although I cannot remember their names… The hottest variety of chilies that I have ever had is orange habanero which has a heat unit of 210,000, its heat much, much higher as compared to other variety such as: tabasco: 120,000 jalapeno M: 25,000 Long Slim cayenne: 23,000 pasilla: 5,500 serrano: 4,000 bell: 0 Chilies are quite useful especially as thug-repelling pepper spray and there is also an ointment that contains the active ingredient in chili peppers is used to soothe sore muscles. Another good use: Chili powder is fed to captive flamingoes to keep their feathers pink. But the most popular reason that I love them is for their flavor and my food is never complete without chilies. While in Suriname, we would get orange habanero (which were yellowish in color and had peculiar taste) so hot, that it would burn the fingers that held it, my mom would use gloves to cut it but I used to eat it raw, till I started developing painful infection in my ears. (may be, its’ fumes were developing the fungus in my ears) My favorite meal was Surinamese style ‘Chicken Roti’, which was white flour roti, stuffed with chicken, string beans and lots of red chutney made from these hot peppers…hmmn…I m still drooling….. But when I migrated to Canary Island, I was surprised with the bland food…the hottest sauce that one can get in Tenerife is Tabasco….I found food so tasteless that I would carry a small bottle of home-made chilly paste in my hang-bag all the time…. I also enjoy the food in Bangkok, which is not only hot and spicy but very, very delicious. Now that I am back home in Mumbai, I enjoy the wicket chilies, which are mild and yet so tasty to eat. I am so popular for my inventive chillie cutney recipes that many times, I may meet an acquaintance on the road and she will immediately ask me the recipe of the chutney that she had tasted in my house. Cannot write more about chilies on empty stomach, You.know what I mean?

Invisible soulmates on facebook

Face is potholed by too many pokes Of friends and families of every nook Vampires’ fights, somersaulting quizzes Dearest friends’ shadows, hugs and looks I enjoy playing Lexulous, and visiting links, Love reading their notes from their profile winks Many summers ago, on a lazy day like this Like a couch potato I would just gape at a book

Approaching Frowns

"A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles."-- Washington Irving In India, I have noticed that people, especially writers will never smile unless they want to interview you. They are compatible only in books, where they will take you through strange cities, make you experience the most exotic places, stir you with their romantic adventures and amuse you with their rib tickling tales but meet them face-to-face, and you will be lucky if you even get a smile. On social networks you will get smiles, hugs, gifts and even kisses from the friends whom you have never ever met, but offline? Meet them randomly and see them squirm. Smile is reserved only for those who are close friends. In a group of good writers, if you are shy then you will be a lone ranger. Unless, of course, if you are a successful writer or one with great looks! But, is smile an expensive commodity only in India? During my recent visit to China, my smile froze on Chinese plastered face, nobody was smiling, neither anyone at the customs nor at the immigration office - same reason- I was a stranger who had neither great looks nor any achievements to boast about, although, like Indians, Chinese too, smile for more reasons than Americans. A smile can mean the person is embarrassed, trying to be helpful, curious, happy or friendly. In the middle of an argument, it may mean that it is nothing personal. When all else fails, their smile shows you have no ill feelings and can work wonders in getting better service. The smile is the near universal gesture of friendliness, and in America, its meaning is usually clear. While in America, everywhere I went, be it supermarket, mall or public library, I found every American smiling and wishing me the hour of the day. But, there too, Asian reserved this smiling gesture for informal occasions, and smiling while being formally introduced was considered disrespectful. In Spain, where I lived for several years, smiling faces surrounded me everywhere. It comes natural to them, they don’t stare, but smile instead. They are so friendly, that many times they will come across the street to greet you with a peck on your cheek. In Spain, I learnt to smile at every stranger, whenever there was an eye contact. But now, I am back in Mumbai. When I see cold eyes, tight closed lips, I am confused. I am learning that I can only return a smile for a smile, in an elitist society, it will be misunderstood.