'Caferati' August Read-meet

I am learning to be a good writer and I am member of various networks on Ryze, which help me to grow as a writer. I write, people react, I improve my skills and I am encouraged to write more. There are many networks online and many of them interact personally too by meeting off line, enjoying the evening of fun and feast. Every month, ‘Caferati-online writer’s network’, have read-meets where we meet off line and see the actual expressions of the group members while we read our piece. It is fun, watching the expression of the dazed crowd, especially if you are reading a bold stuff, which the group members are not sure, whether it is the fiction or a real life experience. On the net, when we write, we sometimes forget, or don’t care that there are many people reading and making their own impression, but at the actual read-meet, it is a different story. We, as a reader, are conscious, of all those people listening and staring at us, watching our gestures, our clothes, and our hair, although all those members, who are present may not even be listening to us hundred percent. Some may be admiring the style of our dress, others enjoying the whiff of sweet perfume, some of them might be wondering whether we shaved our legs before coming, and some might be wondering about our private life and making their own assumption on our pattern of living. Then there will be some who might be thinking when they will eat their Samosas and Sandwiches, wondering whether they could get up, out of turn, and help themselves with the cup of coffee or visit a rest room. The point is that nobody might be actually hearing us hundred percent. So, when we finish our long story and expect an applause, (sometimes we assume, our piece is the masterpiece) we might get to see a group of rolling eyes. We, then grin, rub our palms, raise our eye brows, and look around trying to settle our gaze on one particular person, whom we feel must have listened to our masterpiece ninety-nine percent. The feed-back takes a front seat and we get what we deserve. Live performance and feedback is always intoxicating. Thus, read-meets of Caferati are fun and this month was no different. This month we had at one of the member’s private, cozy home, with books and artifacts lining the walls, high up on the 16th floor of Sainara apartment at Cuff Parade, overlooking the fishermen colony and a beautiful sunset above the calm sea. A friend who had promised to accompany me for the read-meet could not make it and she had to drop out the last minute. I decided to go alone, but I hate making solo entrance. I looked around, as I reached the lobby, hoping I would find one member to accompany me for the entrance into the group and I was lucky to meet one person at the lift. We got to introduction, she was a first-timer, I was consoling her that she need not be afraid or nervous, that she will have a great time, I gave her some back ground knowledge about the group and then asked her to make the entrance with me so that we look like great pals. Surprises! Surprise! Surprise! She was a reporter from a reputed paper! I had already given her my interview in the lift! The read-meet started with a group photograph of famous writers by professional photographer and a formal detailed introduction (glad that we could get free publicity at last!). The reporter encouraged us to boast about our work, which I shamelessly did. (I love freebees)I hope she writes about my books! I need sales! The rest of the read-meet was just reading, commenting, snacking, listening to the sparkling conversations of vibrant group, romancing the ambience and sometimes smiling forcefully at those who won’t match my smile with theirs. Later, after the meeting, smaller group were contemplating the idea of dining to gather in some restuarant. I decided to join in too without any fuss. “Let’s go here” “No!” “Yes!” “Let’s go there” “Let’s take a taxi” “Let’s walk” "It is getting late na" “Never mind, forget the dinner, and let’s go home.” Phew! I was hungry! I was lucky to get a lift back home in a luxurious car, offered to me by one of the members (Lord bless her kind heart!) Thank God we can order food from the comfort of our homes! Viva Mumbai! Hail Mumbai! The memories of the read-meet lingered on as I chewed on roasted chicken and French fries.

Went to see ‘Heyy Babyy’ thinking I was going for some pure fun

but was disappointed. It was full of stupid jokes and bad comedy. Story of three idiots who think women are a game. Akshay Kumar, Fardeen Khan and Ritesh Desmukh, the three playboys, who think they can have every girl. (What an attitude!) Akshay who thinks, he is so smart that he can lay every girl, succeeds in wooing a simple, homely girl (supposedly) who gets intimate after brief meeting. Fardeen Khan has his Western sensibilities embedded all the way in his body language, mannerisms and accent. Ritiesh Deshmukh threatens to steal the show (something which has now become a routine) whenever he appears on a frame. His dead pan humor is prevalent once again as director Sajid Khan incorporates a humorous ‘gay’ angle to his character at not less than 4-5 instances. A baby is left in the basket at their door, one morning, with an abusive letter and these three idiots go to their numerous girlfriends to find the mother of this kid. It is very disgusting to watch them clumsily feed the kid every two hours, change her diapers every hour, act as clowns to keep her smiling, take her for evening outings and buy clothes in dozens. During the first half of the film, they hate the baby and use abusive language for a child (How can anybody ever use abusive language for a kid? It sounds very weird!) But one incident in their life changes it all and it’s time for them to sing along ‘Meri Duniya’ with the toddler for the rest of their lives. So much so that they completely go out of practice of ‘how to woo a woman’ and choose to sing lullabies and nursery rhymes in spite of being on the verge of a romp with some of the hottest stunners. Vidya Balan is a disappointment too. Badly dressed, there is something that misses out from her performance. The only good thing in the film is the smile and the emotions of the kid. Baby Johana is simply adorable and special effort must have gone into getting the best expressions from her, which is apparent, especially when it comes to all the close up shots. While her naughty winks would be remembered by the audience, her wails are of the kind that would be identified by anyone and everyone who has ever held a kid in his/her arms. Don’t bother wasting your evening in watching something as stupid as heyy baby

Juice bar 'HAS' (Review)

Every morning I have a glass of vegetables or fruit juices. As soon as my maid reports to work, she is expected to make one fresh glass of juice for me. But, this morning she is not coming and I am too lazy to make one for me. I had to go out to do some errands and I thought I might as well buy me a glass of fresh juice from road side stalls. After all, staying in India, we enjoy such luxuries. There is juice stall at every street. We get sugarcane juice (Rs5 per glass), Coconut water (Rs15), orange juice (Rs20) water melon (Rs25). The point is that it is so damn cheap and everybody can afford it if they are too lazy to make it themselves. I went to Pali Hill, Bandra and I saw this new juice bar…..hmmm! ..Juice bar!... Welcome to the health world! There was an inviting poster outside the store that pulled me in. It said ‘Get high…Naturally!’ with a pretty and slim model, enjoying a slice of fresh Pineapple. I could not stop myself from entering and I walked in. The ambience was really good, with bar stools on one side and lounge with big screen TV on the other side. The staffs, all clothe in aprons and gloves, amidst all different kinds of juicers, were very attentive. On the menu, there were the list of ‘Power juices’ which were the blend of fruit juices, with exotic names like ‘Berry Blast’ which is actually the crazy blends of pineapple, raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, and apple, priced at Rs95 for regular and Rs155 for large. Then there were ‘Super smoothies’ that promised to be 97% fat free and had a chocolate treat. These were the blend of chocolates or dry fruits. ‘Masala Smoothie’ at the cost of Rs75 for regular and Rs125 for large was a creamy blend of cashew, dates, almonds, pistachio, and soy. There were ‘Low fat smoothies’ that promised to be 98% fat free. These were the mixture of fruits and nuts. ‘Fruit smoothies’ that promised up to 99%fat free and were the blend of different fruits. And there were also freshly squeezed ‘HAS it light’ that were the blend of vegetables and fruits. What I was amused was “Shots’. Priced at Rs35, there was a ‘fresh wheat grass’ it is supposed to be a fabulous shot of minerals, vitamins and antioxidants and ‘Lemon blast’ priced at Rs15, for extra hit of energy. So much variety! I am confused! What to have? What to have?.... Hmm…no! yes!, no!...umph….okay decided… I ordered ‘Cool Cucumber’. A regular of Rs65. It is a blend of chilled out mix of cucumber, apple and mint. Slurp! Sluuurrrrrp! I am feeling refreshed!

If our kids are on net, we, as parents, have right to know the details….

Adnan Patrawala, a richie, rich kid, was first kidnapped and was promised his return on the ransom of 2 crores but then he was murdered by his friends when things went mushy. The murderers, first befriended him on Orkut , a social network, and then used Fake ID (AnGEL) to lure him. Adnan was a junior college student at the Children’s Welfare Centre at Yari Road. The dead boy’s profile on a social networking site lists “driving all the way’’ and cricket as his passions. A photograph uploaded on the site by him shows his car’s speedometer touching 180 kmph. This is a wake up call for the parents and teens to avoid flashing the riches and stay within limits. Given his rich background and owning a personal Skoda and spending a lot of time in the pool parlor/game zone made him an easy pray. But what about a 16 year old, who is meeting strangers from the internet in the middle of the night? Weren’t his parents aware? This turns out to be an idea gone very wrong. It pains me to see how kids behave so irresponsibly without giving a thought as to what repercussions it could have on their families. What about parents? I meet many parents who are in 50-60 age-group and are not compu-savvy. They just refuse to learn. They openly declare it is beyond them and they will never understand. If parent block themselves off saying that computer is not their field and they can never understand or learn then how they will ever know what experiences and dangers their child is exposed to? How can they then advise? It is very important for the parents to regularly check the sites that their teenagers visit and that is possible if parents have communication with their kids. They have to win their trust. You are not expected to check the computer to see what sites he has visited, but you can talk to the child and talk about what is amusing him on the net and look for danger signs. Advice him on the pitfalls of the cyber net and that is possible only if parent are aware of the problems that arise on the net. Things go wrong when children don’t have parents for consultation. They, then, go to wrong sources for their problems and sometimes they will go even to strangers.

Trolls on their prowl…..

Today morning, when I saw a troll at one of the networks, I was disgusted with the troll and was sorry for the moderator who was the target of his abuse. I wanted to shout at him to stop his nonsense, but I was afraid of shifting his attention on me. Yes, I am coward. I cannot handle abusive comments. I like to walk away from trouble if I can. There are many networks on the cyber space and many of them are very informative and we learn a lot by getting into discussion on different topics. There are times we agree, and sometimes we disagree. It is like a meeting place where we can exchange ideas and opinions in the comfort of our house with AC on, radio in the back ground and snacks, chips and drinks at our side table. Life is good as long as it does not get mushy, and sometimes, if people go overboard, then the moderators have to intervene. But the moderators of the network have to go through lot of stress, especially if they have to deal with a troll. Troll assumes an anomalous identity and starts to make argument and accusations. I cannot understand what pleasures do the trolls get by disseminating bad advice, disrupting the discussion with their bombarding accusations? Does he want to destroy the network, so that he can start his own? Or is he power hungry so much that night and day, instead of having a creative muse, he starts bombarding irreverent facts and discrediting post? I wish they would curb their frustrations and concentrate on more positive vibes. Nursing a grudge only weakens us. We lose the power to function intelligently. It creates an uncomfortable feeling for everybody, one who shoots abusive words, the target and the audience. Why can’t we live in a healthy environment? But, I think there is no reasoning that will work. Should we ignore it or should we strike back and anger him more? I wonder what one can possibly do.