What should I wear????

Each time I receive a wedding invitation, I get worried…No, I am not unhappy that one more couple is getting married. Actually I have nothing against any one getting married, it’s okay for me if they want to start a new life together but why give me an invitation to attend their marriage? What work do I have? I am not required to perform any rites, nor do I enjoy dancing or singing loudly at the weddings. I don’t even drink any hard/soft drinks nor eat those oily foodstuffs with dripping mayonnaise. So what do I do at these weddings? Just dress up and keep a smile? Dressing up? Now that’s another headache! I am worried about what shall I wear? The other day, I went with the groom’s mother for her shopping and I was shocked. Each outfit was costing her around 80-90 grand! Then there were solitaires and fancy footwear. During the wedding she will be worth more than 2 lakhs at each occasion. And there are four such occasions before and after the wedding. I asked her as to why would she spend so much money in doling herself, when it is not even her wedding and she said that she was groom’s mom, the centre of attraction, and would want to look good in photographs. The hostess should be well dressed. Okay! So where do I fit in? Whatever I wear, it will look cheap even if it costs me 10 grand. (Not that I will spend so much money on one outfit.. Nah! not me) And why must I invest so much money for somebody else’s wedding? And what do I do with that outfit after the wedding is over, can I repeat it? I could, only if there are different set of people but if there are same group of people at another wedding then repeating is a sin. They might say ”Oh this outfit., I remember. You still have it? You also wore it at XYZ’s wedding. Hai na??” Come on, you don’t expect me to throw away my expensive clothes after just one wash, do you? Gimme a break!!! So, the second best thing is not to attend the wedding at all. I will bless the couple online maybe in my night suit. Who care!

Caferati Read-Meet (23rd May 09) at Belapur

There were no Samosas this time, but still I enjoyed the read-meet like I always do, but then, who says that we go to eat Samosas?…it is read-meet, right? So, you are supposed to meet and read.. get it? Also, when somebody is reading in this group, then, you are supposed to listen carefully, and not allow your mind to wander away, looking around, admiring the paintings on the walls, or clicking pictures because, at the end of each read, you are expected to give a feedback. (think! think! did you like it? what did you like? what doesn't work for you?) everybody is expected to participate(Imagine, if ever body gave the feedback then who would be the just listener? not allowed huh?) Now, giving feedback is such a pain...Grrrhh! (array baba, giving feedback is also an art na, that has to be developed,) you need a loud voice and confidence to speak your mind and, and, of course, you need to have editorial qualities to comment on some body’s else’s work without getting punched back on your face….. (I am afraid if they say, "you think you know better than me? huh? How dare you strip my work!") Okay. Okay, I will need to work on giving feedback too….But I just need time….Actually, I am not used to making personal comments unless I am asked to (I think people are noticing that I hardly ever comment at the read-meet and that, I am told is ‘not fair’, to get a feedback, we must learn to give it first....point noted... :) Anyways, this month, the read meet was organized at Menka’s beautiful garden behind her house, in the interiors of Belapur, way far from city of Mumbai. We sat under bougainvillea trees, to the back ground music of water fall, so close to nature, surrounded by the sweet fragrance of flowers. While we waited for the members to arrive, we had a small informal chat. We were discussing about the demography of the people of Mumbai verses people of Delhi and their behavior pattern, their habit of staring too much, their ability to cheat and lie and finally, we arrived at a conclusion that 'Delhi sucks'…… (sorry) Next, a formal read meet started with a small round of introduction, disclosing our ID and our nature of writings. And then the readings of fiction and poetry began. There were a long discussions after each reading, on points that were important for good writing, such as, making the fiction work more expressive, to show and not to tell, to chop off all the unnecessary details that are not important to te story, and to create a drama in order to get the attention of the reader/listener. There was much discussion on the usage of words such as editorial/reportage While editorial can be bias and can be just an opinion, reportage are pure facts and are written in formal accounts with correct details. For example: A RICH Man wanted to tell a certain lie, but the lie was of such monstrous size that it stuck in his throat; so he employed an Editor to write it out and publish it in his paper as an editorial. Policeman, on the other hand, will give the proper details to a reporter. Since the group was small, (only twelve people attended this month’s read meet). It ended early. Then came the best part…chow chow..peet puja…(I was hungry too) .there were (vegetarian and non vegetarian,) puff pastries, wafers and cake. The meeting lasted for over two hours and the group dispersed by 6:30pm. I was lucky, I got a lift back home, thanks to Menka, who had meeting to attend at Hotel Marriot and she would drive through my route (passing through Bandra)… I feel blessed, travelling in style…back home.

Tangy Taste

My friend, Aanchal Adukia, send me a SMS inviting me for demonstration of dips, dressing and salads. Naturally I was interested and decided to go and it was really worth it. My niece and I travelled for nearly an hour to reach her Malad residence. Her table was laden with all kinds of sauces and chopped veggies. On our arrival she served us a chilled drink made from ice tea, which had chopped apples, strawberries and squashed mint leaves. This was very refreshing. We sat on the dinning table and watched as she started demonstrating each dish. One tip she gave was that for mixing of salad, dips or dressing, it should be done in glass containers and it should be chilled before serving. She made three types of dips namely mango creamer, garlic and dill delite and parsley and parmesan dips These dips can be had with wafers, or vegetables like cucumber, carrots, radish, etc. Interesting way of serving these dishes are to keep the veggies strips in stripes along the long plate and insert a small cups of dips in between. Sounds interesting? hmmn! Then she went on to make three different types of dressings like Italian extravaganza, Miami blues and Island Myst. Of the three I enjoyed Italian extravaganza the most and loved the mustard flavor in it. In any dressing the common things that are used are olive oil, vinegar, salt, sugar and pepper. We can make the dressing or dips and store it in glass containers for more than one week…so that is good news for a lazy person like me, hahahaha, (pss.. actually I am not lazy at all) The salads were the most important part of this demonstration, and it just involves chopping and mixing. What is most important is the correct combination to get its rich taste. Some had walnuts in it and some had chestnuts, some had apples and some pomegranate…..the trick is the combination……. The next best part arrived when we sat down to taste…well I didn’t just taste, I ate and ate, till I was sure that I would not require any more helping….. And of course I skipped dinner……

Pure friendship have no name......

 It is important to hold on to those who genuinely care, because in times like these, they are very rare…..If we loosen our grip or snap our connection, there might not be another chance for redemption.

If we look around us, everybody is getting more and more selfish, and true love has ceased to exist. A do-gooder is always questioned for her intentions/design of why it is done. There has to be some motive behind an act, there can never be a deed without a purpose. Relationships are going sour. There is no genuine love in this world anymore.

What with those crazy labels that are attached to every relationship?

 If you love someone of opposite sex, you will be labeled as flirtatious, show the concern and love to same sex, and you will be labeled as gay/lesbian. Sex plays the important part in everybody’s life; there cannot be pure love anymore, especially not for a person who is single.

 A single person has to be pitied at all cost.

Why didn’t they find a mate? Is something wrong with them? What do single people do in their free time? Do they watch a porno to curb their libido? Or perhaps they use some dildos? Are they sex starved? It’s funny how far their imaginations can run.

 Sometimes I feel like addressing things. And what gets me tired is how often we can see the need to address things before we get tired of doing just that! I mean, why do we have to give explanations of our every deed and every act?

 One advantage a single person enjoys is that they don’t have to deal with insecurities of others. They are their own boss. If they decide to indulge in certain activities, it is purely for their pleasure. If they decide to reach out to people who care, it need not necessarily mean that they seek out sexual contentment.

 But the present scenario of gay/lesbian concept has eclipsed all relationships.

 Ouch! Even an innocent act of just holding hands, or a peck on a cheek, is watched suspiciously. Communication is important ... "how" we communicate is of the utmost importance. In the friendships, there may be pure intimate relationship and there is tendency to read "exactly” what is said without needing or wanting more because the outcome of a conversation may not have as much meaning as it is expected.

We're emotional beings ... right?

No apology necessary there... how we process these emotions and think things through can make all the world of difference.

 Friendship can be experienced and identified individually only by person involved in that relation. Until very recently, much of what has been documented about women's sexuality has been written by men, in the context of male understanding, and relevant to women's associations to men—as their wives, daughters, or mothers,

 During the 17th through 19th centuries, a woman expressing passionate love for another woman was fashionable, accepted, and encouraged. Whether the relationship included any genital component was not a matter for public discourse, but women could form strong and exclusive bonds with each other and still be considered virtuous, innocent, and chaste; a similar relationship with a man would have destroyed a woman's reputation. In fact, these relationships were promoted as alternatives to and practice for a woman's marriage to a man.

Around the turn of the 20th century the development of higher education provided opportunities for women. In all-female surroundings, a culture of romantic pursuit was fostered in women's colleges.

Older students mentored younger ones, called on them socially, took them to all-women dances, sent flowers, cards, and poems that declared their undying love for each other.

The invisibility of lesbians has gradually eroded since the early 1980s.

Psychiatrists and feminist philosophers noted that the rise in women acknowledging same sex relationships is due to growing social acceptance, but also conceded that "only a certain kind of lesbian—slim and elegant or butch in just the right androgynous way—is acceptable to mainstream culture. 

Yet, the term “Lesbians/Gay” is so liberally used in present scenario!

How ignorant can one get? It is outrageous! It has curbed our desire to express our love to people whom we truly care. FB has many applications to express our friendship, but we are afraid to post it to our virtual friends, always afraid of forming a wrong notion. Should we send a bear hug across? a gift perhaps or a comment on superwall? How intimate can one get over the internet?

 Should we really care?

Hottie Companions

I have tried many different types of chilies during my globe trotting although I cannot remember their names… The hottest variety of chilies that I have ever had is orange habanero which has a heat unit of 210,000, its heat much, much higher as compared to other variety such as: tabasco: 120,000 jalapeno M: 25,000 Long Slim cayenne: 23,000 pasilla: 5,500 serrano: 4,000 bell: 0 Chilies are quite useful especially as thug-repelling pepper spray and there is also an ointment that contains the active ingredient in chili peppers is used to soothe sore muscles. Another good use: Chili powder is fed to captive flamingoes to keep their feathers pink. But the most popular reason that I love them is for their flavor and my food is never complete without chilies. While in Suriname, we would get orange habanero (which were yellowish in color and had peculiar taste) so hot, that it would burn the fingers that held it, my mom would use gloves to cut it but I used to eat it raw, till I started developing painful infection in my ears. (may be, its’ fumes were developing the fungus in my ears) My favorite meal was Surinamese style ‘Chicken Roti’, which was white flour roti, stuffed with chicken, string beans and lots of red chutney made from these hot peppers…hmmn…I m still drooling….. But when I migrated to Canary Island, I was surprised with the bland food…the hottest sauce that one can get in Tenerife is Tabasco….I found food so tasteless that I would carry a small bottle of home-made chilly paste in my hang-bag all the time…. I also enjoy the food in Bangkok, which is not only hot and spicy but very, very delicious. Now that I am back home in Mumbai, I enjoy the wicket chilies, which are mild and yet so tasty to eat. I am so popular for my inventive chillie cutney recipes that many times, I may meet an acquaintance on the road and she will immediately ask me the recipe of the chutney that she had tasted in my house. Cannot write more about chilies on empty stomach, You.know what I mean?