Mother's Day

Everybody was screaming on all social networks the wishes, the quotes, some digging into thier archives to find wishes for this day, many of them sendng wishes on the net to their mom who is sitting in the next room. Virtually mothers enjoyed gifts, cakes and even virtual hugs. The flowers were sent, gift bought for mothers who were not net-savvy, who were then treated for a lunch and movie.

Umarried, I have never biologically mothered any child but, I have seen many children grow, who have played in my lap, I have mothered them all, my sisters' brothers' cousins' kids  my eyes still look for those babies who are not there....lost into the adulthood

And I was surprised when I too recieve wishes from some of them and it was a good feeling.

Many years ago, when Mom and I were staying with my brother's family, my brother's kids were very attached to me. On mothers' day they bought gifts for their mother and my brother and I bought gifts for my mother. Since I was mother to none, I didn't recieve any gifts. My four-year-old nephew, was very upset that his dadima  and his mom recieved gifts and his aunt didn't recieve any, so he comes up to me and asks me, "When is the aunts' day coming? I want to buy a gift for you too."

Well aunt's day is still not celebrated anywhere, though they will still remain all time favorites. I used to love all my aunts and I still miss them long after they are not here anymore.

Aunt's love is the extention of mother's love but it needs a special day too. haha!

Mexican Delight

Last night I went to this Mexican restaurant that is recently opened in Bandra, just few minutes away from my house. The décor was good with wooden tables and chairs that reminded me of the restaurants in Tenerife. On one of the walls there was a big wooden shelf with hundreds of sauce bottles, not sure whether they were new bottles or used ones, but it made an impressive collage.

Before our order, they served us a basket of tortillas with two sauces, a bland pink and chilly green. Since it was a new restaurant, the hostess would come to our table to check our satisfaction meter. “Is it good? Yeah?” Now even if it is not good, we would not be too rude to say so, our Indian culture does not allow us to speak the truth to the person who asks so sweetly expecting a compliment. Anyway, we order chicken wings and fajitas. I like it and enjoyed it too. But the friends with whom I went had continuous negative commentary to make.

Although a Saturday night, there were very few clients, which is quite abnormal in the suburbs where people are seen crowding outside the restaurants, waiting for their turns. They were quite disappointed that they didn’t have to wait for the table and got one immediately on entering. They compared this restaurant to the ‘Hard Rock’ which is also a well known Mexican restaurant that has everything comparatively better, the servings, the taste, and the ambiences. While they ate, they talked about things that were wrong with this restaurant and not up to its standards. They debated that the restaurant would do well if it served liquor. The soft drinks were not good and had sprite added to the juice. But still, whenever the hostess came around for a feedback, their comment was always ‘very nice’ with thumbs up.

Well, since I have ever been to ‘Hard Rock’ I was quite content with this one, nevertheless I gulped meekly when they told me that it was very improper and unethical to serve Mexican sauces in steel utensils.

“It kills the taste, you know?” they said

My building going for redevelopment

I have been waiting for this day since last five years. Waiting for the day when all the members in my building will agree to redevelopment and I will get a lift to go up my house. My building is more than fifty years old and it needs regular repairs to keep in shape, also it is quite dirty and I am embarrassed when I get visitors. Whenever I saw new building crop up, I would wish the same for my building. But we had some stubborn neighbours who did not agree to redevelopment, and were always airing negative views, could see only problems associated with it but never the rewards. For five years I have tried to put forth my point that we need to live in a good and clean society.

Finally the day has arrived. All the members have finally agreed to go for redevelopment, we went for democratic voting to maintian transparency and the builder is also chosen, the Satguru builder, whose building I checked out and they are quite good. This means that we will get a bigger house about 33% more space, corpus money and two years rent. It does not mean that I will get richer with extra cash on rent and corpus money that I will recieve. Nah! thats not the case. With newer building, we will have more maintainance tax which will cover the extra help of more watchmen, cleaners and other taxes. The corpus money, if invested wisely, will help me cover those extra costs. While presently, I am paying only Rs20,000 anually, with new construction, I will be paying five folds. The rent that I will recieve, I hope to save, because when I come back, I will need to use that money for interior decoration. So the only benefit I get is one extra room, two lifts and a brand new building with gym, garden and party room.
Now I am in turmoil. Lot of things need to be done before I move out to a temporary accommodation. Packing is the biggest headache. Then I would like to sell off the old furniture because moving to a new house would mean new furniture, what to sell and what to keep is my biggest worry and where to store??. There are too many things in the house: furniture, doors, windows, grills, clothes, dishes, show pieces, books. My routine is about to get disrupted. Should I rent a house or should I travel for two years? Lead a gipsy life?

Even after I am back to a new house, I will have to renovate it to my taste. I will only have modular kitchen and bathrooms in the new house. But will need to make new furniture, paint the house and organize everything all over.

I am confused.

Sorry for using a word .....

....that you don’t understand, but Lexulous does and so does the scrabble. Try it.

Scrabble and Lexulous are the games that are played online, mainly on Facebook. I play it regularly usually as a detour from my regular task of reading and blogging. With strangers I don’t enjoy the game but I like playing with friends, with whom I can chitchat and keep in touch. I have made many good friends on scrabble board and on Lexulous and have been regularly in touch with them. Actually, these games allow many weird words that we will never find in our text books, the trick is to place your letters, sometimes guessing a word, hoping that lexulous or scrabble will understand and voila, sometimes it does. But if it is at the expense of annoying my friends, then that gets me really stressed out because I really hate losing friends. I have very few friends and all very precious, wouldn’t like them to go off at a tangent over a game, which is just a game.

For me winning/losing is not the criteria, I just like to make the best word that I can. I have been playing this game for many years, precisely for more than twenty-five years. The first time I saw this game was during my trip abroad and I was fascinated by tiny wooden tiles. I played that game immediately and lost miserably but fell in love with it. I bought my first scrabble board, a tiny travel board with tiny tiles and holes on the board to fix the tiles ( this board and tiles, neatly saved and restored, are still lying at my home in Tenerife, Spain, hibernating and they come alive only when I visit my family)

During my college years, I taught this game to all my friends and we would play this game non-stop for days and sometimes all night. We allowed dictionary so that we could learn new words and we always played for fun; snacking and fooling in-between games. Over the years, I learnt some tricks on how to confuse the opponent and win the game. I taught those tricks to my friends too who would use it against me and make me lose. In Mumbai, I joined scrabble club, where we would play it regularly and even participated in many scrabble tournaments, much of which I lost. But I was never offended if I lost and always came out stronger each time.

Most of the time it is pure luck that we may get good combination to be able to make seven-letter word which gives an impressive score. It is not the deciding factor for showing off the intelligence or word power, nor are there any laurels to be won. The opponents who play with me regularly are equally good, and they do have impressive scores and rankings, so there is nothing to feel egoist about winning. But most of the time I am lucky. (maybe because I am unlucky in love. Huh?) I have some friends who continue to play with me and before one game ends they have already started a new one. They tell me that it is challenging playing with me and I get aggressive too.

But lately I have been offending my friends by winning. Now I can’t play badly and let my friends win, can I? That will not be fair. I don’t understand why they get so discouraged by my winnings? Why can’t they get aggressive and fight back? Why do they have give up on me? Must they always win and play with only those whom they can beat easily? Don’t they like challenges any more?

And why do I get stressed out if they give up on me? Now that is the question I need to introspect.

Diamonds are not forever

Finally I gave up my fetishism on diamonds.

It was difficult at first, what with me belonging to the culture (I am Sindhi) where diamonds play an important deciding factor for placing you at certain strata of society and earning that false respect. The bigger diamond meant a respectable position in Sindhi community, a front door entry to any important religious meetings, an admiring friend’s circle hovering around you, even though you might not part with a centimeter of your carat with them. Ah well.

But diamonds were my best friends, even though I could not compete with my rich cousins. Every time, my cousins flashed their real diamond jewelry I would secretly wish to buy me a better stuff. But my limited budget allowed me to live within my means (as my mom would often say, not to destroy my shack by building castles in air). Nevertheless, by the time, I reached middle age, I had enough of everything. Enough I say because I was satisfied with what I had, and I had everything in diamonds: ear-rings, rings, bracelets, watches, bangles, necklace, pendants, though not those big, huge carats, nah, they were not as impressive as my rich cousin’s booties, but was decent enough, some gifted by my mom, aunts, sisters, some inherited and some, I know not how they arrived at my tijori. I had planned to buy me some more really big ones, those fancy ones that you see in the shopping window, hoping some day in future (when I became truly Richie rich) I would own that too, until one day, suddenly my taste took a U-turn from gaudy to subtle, and it was thinking whether it was really so important to carry such heavy stuff on my neck and on my ear lobes that was dangling so much with its weight that I need doctor’s help to prevent it from becoming a torn chappati. I decided that I don’t really need it. Specially since it was also giving me unnecessary stress.

Now let me explain. What use is wearing all those real diamond-sets that cover your every possible skin so much, that people cannot see you beyond those glittering stones? And you are so busy flashing them, that your topic of conversation is limited to fashion and shopping, while your subconscious mind is eagerly waiting for the compliment that may not arrive from your envious friends. And then you are always living in fear of losing your possessions so much so that you become too obsessive in guarding them. You become vigilant about your cupboard keys and are always hiding the keys in such odd places that you cannot find them yourself. And when you have misplaced it somewhere, you start suspecting everybody: Your maid, your guest, your friend. Okay, you will tell me that I can keep them in bank locker. Then what the bloody hell is the use of freezing them if I cannot wear them? You advice me that it is important to save it for the bad times. So should I wait for those bad times when I can happily cash out diamonds and release them from lockers?

Instead of spending money on diamonds and freezing them in lockers, I have discovered a better value for money. Investing the money in proper way in funds and bonds and see it grow, yielding regular dividends gives special kind of pleasure. It is fun to travel with that extra cash in style. Buy some luxury items to enhance the atmosphere: nice bed spread, good curtains, jacuzzi. And sharing the excess cash with less fortunate and winning their million dollar smile is an heavenly experience.

Also, I am enjoying shopping for artificial costume jewelry, nothing flashy but classic, yes. I like that. No worries about guarding it, hiding it, storing. If it gets lost, I don’t care, I get one more reason to buy another one. I can now concentrate on reading and on other things that I can truly enjoy.

And to enjoy the company of people who can see and hear, just me.