Good Friends Means a World To Me

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
Unknown

Each time I feel useless and a burden on the earth, (Dharti ka bhojj) a friend walks closer to my heart, unfolds the clouds of depression and lifts my spirit up. Friends’ smiles have added a bright sunshine in my life and I have found them at every walk of life. Flashback to my childhood, takes me to a profile of a close friend who cared a lot for me. Her name was Usha Singh, I don’t know where she is now but we were very close to each other at the age of 5years.

Rolling through the transcript of my life, I have moved places, countries, life and lost many friends on the route; I change a new best friend, (every five years, I have noticed), matching my personality with them. I didn’t forget their names (I do remember them) but didn’t keep in touch with them after they crossed the borders over to their new life with a different name. Through the social media, I have found few and have interacted with them too but I have moved on.

Essential base for friendship is utility, pleasure, virtue, honesty and common interest.

On social network too, we develop friendship with the person whom we have never met, but that is on an intellectual level. I have many virtual close friends to whom I feel connected and care a lot. When I don’t see them for long period, I worry about their well-being. These are friends to whom we are attracted not by the way they look (most of them are photo-shopped profiles, but who care?) but by their skills, talent and thoughts. These friendships do break off when the expectation does not match with our imaginations. They shouldn’t. But what can one say of a friend who is disappointed by the way we look? Is it important to match the looks with intelligence and comfort?

Pleasure is the essential base for friendship.

Every friendship has a pleasure attached. We can overlook the short-comings of a person that cannot be helped, like color, caste, size, health. (These are always overlooked on online friends). But friendship should bring a joy for it to flourish. We have a good reason to reject her/him when we meet them personally if we are offended by the way they behave. On a physical level, we tend to observe their ethics, manners and culture, their ability to talk sensibly and their sensitively towards delicate issues. The cleanliness and their dressing style also matters. The person who has no time to take care of themselves first because they are lazy to do so, how can we expect them to find time for us?

Let’s face facts. There has to be a utility value to the friendship. Everybody needs moral, physical and emotional support. Friendship follows the rule: I give, and you give too. It has to be interactive and reciprocal. The gender of the friendship is not important but if it is just one way friendship, it cannot last for long. The best friendship is the friendship between women. Women have the caring nature and are willing to offer help whenever the need arises. There is so much to share. It’s not gossip, it’s emotional speculation, a good friendships that lasts life-time understands all the qualities of a close friend, good/bad, and accepts them.

Once a friend, always a friend is my mantra.

In a good friend, sentiments and honesty is the only glue that binds the relationship for ever.

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