These are the actual ads on a matrimony site

There is no season for marriage now-a-days, Many kids get married whenever they wish, some even eloping if they dont trust their parent's decision, but there are still some old fashioned ones who insert an adverisement in a local newspaper and wait for a spouse to search them. so what if they are not perfect, they are quite entertaining sometimes. Have you looked into the papers lately? Maybe you will be lucky to find some real good ads...some of the good one are listed on my newspaper..er..I shall use the when I finally decide to look for a partner... Till then I entertain myself with these ads: *Hello To Viewvers My Name is Somesha , I am single i dont have Famale, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Somesha ~*~ *i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA AGABATA, and other homework (Homework?) *Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!) *She should be good looking and should have a service. She Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. She should be educated. (ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !) *I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ......... hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect) *i am simple boy.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i am looking one girl she care me and love me lot lot lot (I don't know why but this is one of my favorites) *My wife should be as 'Parwati' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsi as in KSBKBT...... (Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too much, ain't he?) *i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast (by not wearing her jeans? ahem...) *whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is toolike this she would bde called the lady of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants) *i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome") *iam pradip my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother sister complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?) *iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist. (actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??) *my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes (height of desperation! J ) *Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome person or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good person. My father already expired . Iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye. (uttama purushan) *I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT. (maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits) *hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ... (but credit cards not accepted..???) *my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service (Zebra..???) *i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY. (Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?) to be married on jan-2005. working woman perferable (this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride. I wish him best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.) *i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the mahalakshmi. (Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?) *ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present. (Any takers again?) "Educated, intelligent guy. Innocently divorced with 2 children" (What do you mean by "innocently." Ohh..you were married innocently, innocently you had kids and now you are innocently divorced.....Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that is so sweet!) *"Looking for a fair, slim, height 5'6, weight ~110 pounds, beautiful IVY league medical graduate girl, for my IVY League medical graduate son." (I was expecting to see a GPA requirement also) *LAWYER'S MATRONINAL ADVERTISMENT: I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever *CAR DEALER'S MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISMENT: Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition! *ASTRONAUT'S MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISMENT; I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world! *BUSINESSMAN'SMATRIMONIAL ADVERTISMENT: Partner wanted for company. *FARMER'S MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISMENT: Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading! (Like Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai) *SALESMAN'S MATIMONIAL ADVERTISMENT: Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career! *MATRINONIAL ADVERTISMENT OF A DRUNKARD: Wanted a girl, Girls father should preferably have a liquor shop, I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come around, friends come around only seven times a week, girl preferred who can carry me from Bar to Ghar-Bar (home) meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial.Samples should be ample. *DOCTOR'S MATRINONIAL ADVERTISMENT I AM LOOKING FOR A WIFE TO CURE THE EMPTINESS IN MY LIFE, HOWEVER, IF YOU FEEL THE NEED FOR A SECOND OPINION THEN IT'S FINE BY ME.