I have a right to Choose.....

I have traveled thousands of miles in this life, and met scores of couple of supposed-to-be-happily-bliss-couples, but I still have to meet a perfect couple. The type of emotional support that a person needs changes from one stage of life to another. The type of emotional support that her family provides may not be what she really needs after certain age. True! But as she grows older, she learns to discover and know herself. If she is single, she has already learnt to control her emotions and she knows that she, herself is responsible for her own happiness and there is no body else on whom she should depend. She builds a wall around her, and learns to protect herself against all the bullies. She becomes stronger as she grows older. A married women lives all her life with expectations of being recognized and appreciated by her spouse, children, extended families, eventually losing her own identity, in trying to please others, when she is older, she realizes that all her life she has only lived for others, compromising, tolerating and the cycle goes on and on, the emotional support that she was expecting from others may not be there. Life is just give and take and emotional support always will come from anybody whom you care, they may or may not be your own family. Loneliness is a temporary phase that everybody goes through, married or not. It is phase of boredom. This can be easily replaced by different interests. The conjugal bonhomie between couples may remind her of what she is missing, but when she sees those heated arguments, that sloppiness in men, his vices, his drinking habits, womanizing, his long hours in front of TV (or computer), during the week-ends while the wife helplessly awaits for an outing, it is during those spells of unhappy couple, that she starts blessing her stars. Single woman may become conscious about her single status when she comes across a very happy family of husband, wife, and child/children. This may leave her totally demoralized but only temporarily. And when a married woman, sees her single friend, carefree and liberated, being able to support her-self and live with dignity, while she is chained to life-long-imprisonment of ungrateful and selfish family, it can leave married woman totally demoralized, which her own family may not even know. Absence of commitments (marriage is one great commitment) may make single woman reckless and intemperate during the age, when she is young and wants to explore everything independently but a mature, single woman is not reckless, she knows her responsibility and is in charge of her life. She has been free to do what she likes and she does that with responsibility knowing that she has only her self to please. Married woman has obstructions and rules to follow, (don’t do this, don’t go there, don’t talk to this one, must call him, what will people say, think of family prestige, etc) so she is always craving for independence and she is the one, who destroys her self-esteem in the long run. The sense of security that a marriage brings is priceless to those who have no faith in themselves to make their own life secure. A majority in the society always look down upon single women because they are jealous of her bravery. Societies have their own imaginations and they feel every single woman is unhappy, easy catch, unworthy and an object of pity. High time they realized that woman, sometimes chooses to be single and will be ready for commitment, only if she finda a worthy man. She will not clutter her space with society-must-haves. Her single status may make some men think that she is easily available. Warding off these roving eyes would be a tough task for that woman, who is weak and has not yet mastered the martial art. A man complements a woman and vice versa if there is understandings on both the sides and willingness to respect each other. There is lot more to the life, than a marriage. I think, woman can stay married, but only if she has some space to stretch her emotions and desires, if she has no danger of being stripped off her identity, if she has a companion, who is under-standing, caring and loving. He is the one, who will be tolerated in her old age.