What a man likes in a woman

My BIL spends most of his evenings with his friends on the terrace, they sit togather, drinking, snacking and chatting.Today since my sister had gone off to a temple for Mata Devi darshan, I went with him to the terrace. I was sitting with his friends, enjoying the cool breeze and just listening to their conversation without taking part in any of their chat.

His friend, a baldy one in late 60s, was talking of his youth when he had to choose a bride for himself , he says...

At a marriagable age, I told my mom very clearly that there are three things that I will expect from the girl whom I marry.

One

She should not be too bony around her neck area, because when I wear her a diamond necklace it should look nice on her neck, if she is too bony then the necklace will look tilted and lop-sided

Two

When she smiles, there should be no gums visible, it looks very ugly then they have smaller teeth and large pink gums staring at you

Three-

She should have etiquettes and must not do funny things with her hands..like scratching unnecessarily, picking her nose or rubbing her face

Hahahaahaha!! What a creep!!!

Now men are complaining too……

With all the women’s lib and the women joining hand to fight against the cruelty of men, I was surprised today when I read in the papers ‘Spouse abuse: It’s the husband’s turn now’. Husbands are complaining?…. It says ‘98% of the 1,650 urban husbands surveyed said they had been victims of violence in their married lives. Wow! I never thought of that!’ Nagging, grumbling, taunting, name calling, refusing food, denying sexual intercourse, abusing parents and family members, snatching salary, throwing objects, scratching with nails and biting, threats of suicide and even eviction from the house were some of the common forms of abuse that husbands are complaining. The study, conducted by two non-governmental organizations (NGOs) - Save Indian Family Foundation and My Nation - looked at four aspects of domestic violence — economical, emotional, physical and sexual. In a sample survey of 1,650 urban men, almost 98% of the respondents said they had suffered violence under one or the other of these heads more than once. I am highly confused. Why it is that in a marriage, one of the spouses is always suffering? Most of the married couple I see, it is always the stronger one, who rules. Why can’t they learn to respect each other? Isn’t marriage supposed to be of compatibility and understanding? Many times, I get caught in the couple abuse. It is very embarrassing for me when they are arguing and abusing each other and I wonder if this is what marriage is all about? I cannot take sides and I think of various excuses of moving away from this situation. Something they argue for a very long time and then there is tension for next few days, and I wonder, will they get back or is this going to lead to divorce? But why do those couple continue to argue over senseless things? I think to be able to live happily and tension free one could learn to respect and accept each others. Everybody have some weakness, if we can overlook their weakness and concentrate on their good points we can make a clean atmosphere and create positive vibrations into the house. In a relationship, ego should never rule. That is the root cause of every problem. If we are able to keep a loving spirit in our nature, and solve the problems with maturity, there can never be any misunderstanding.

A Joke sent to me by my friend...heheheehehee!

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache." It Worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his Clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He Puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes Back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With That, He goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my Wife. She's Not my wife. She's not my wife..." His funeral service will be held on Friday.