Lonliness

Living alone on your own terms is a win-win situation… At the end of the day, calm and peace reigns and we count our blessing when we see a squirming couple fight for space. Loneliness is the state of mind that is not proportional to the being single or married nor is it proposional to the number of people that you may be surrounded. It is something you feel when you can’t find somebody to agree with you, to share your thoughts or help you when you need them the most. But it is not always the spouse who fills that void. It can be filled by anybody whom we allow that privilege; it could also be a best friend or a family too. To overcome loneliness, it is best not to wait for somebody to drop in and dilute our emptiness but to go out there and venture into this wild world, erase the loneliness of a friend (spouse or a close friend) and spread the joy and happiness and then see your own self bloom.

Six Events...lets participate!

In January, I plan to take part in 'Six events'. What I like about these events are that they can be done from any part of the world……we have only to execute the performance at any hour of the day and record the duration and time and sent it to the composer. These timings and durations will go to writing a new piece of music in late 2008. Performers should constantly listen to the sounds around them, they are hearing a very unique composition. Also, anything at all of interest should be documented, if something happens (someone accuses you of acting suspicious, a pigeon sits on your head, you fall asleep, you trip up....) please write this down and email them to six_events@yahoo.co.uk Event one BUS Monday January 21st # On the prescribed day you should board any bus, at any time. # The length of your journey should not be premeditated. # When you are ready, alight the bus. # You should record the times you boarded & alighted the bus. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Event two ROAD Tuesday January 22nd # On the prescribed day, walk down any road. # You should clap your hands together once, at any point. # You may walk at any pace, but must record the name of the road & the duration of how long you walked for. # It is at your discretion to how long you walk for (at the end of the road, you could turn around & walk back.) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Event three BUILDING Wednesday January 23rd # On the prescribed day you should enter any building. # Discover the building for a duration of up to one hour. # Sit down at least once & close your eyes. # You should record the time you entered & left the building. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Event four SUPERMARKET Thursday January 24th # On the prescribed day you should enter any supermarket. # Walk down every isle at your own pace. # On your way round you must pick up any item for less then Rs10 # Go back to your original starting place, in the supermarket. # Before paying for your item you must move one other item in the store to another place, an incongruous position on another shelf. # Pay for your item & keep your receipt* # You may not own the bought item, it must be given away or thrown into a bin. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Event five PUB Friday January 25th # On the prescribed day you should enter any pub & ask one person any question you wish. # You should request a glass of water, you should not drink it. # Leave the pub. # You should record the time you entered and left the pub. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* Event six PARK Sunday January 27th # On the prescribed day you should enter any park # Sit or stand on a green area for any length of time # You should look up to the sky at least once. # You should record the time you entered & left the park. Now, won't that be fun..imagine how many people around the world will be doing the same thing as what we are doing....actually we dont have to doing on all the days, but we could try atleast for one day...... Would love to know who else is doing? Will you?

attending offline meeting with Global Sindhis

There is a Global Sindhi Network of which I am a member. We interact on line, sharing Sindhi culture and customs and many other things. And sometimes we meet offline in some restaurant to give a face to the name and interact. After nearly a year, I was finally able to make it for this month’s meet, and surprisingly at the same venue…at Chembur Gymkhana, the only difference was the venue being busy with week-end diners, the pool area was packed and we had to dine in an AC den, in a group of only seven. I was wondering where the others had fizzled out? There is a high percentage of lurkers on the GS, who are very much interested in Sindhi culture, and have happily joined the group, but if the sharing of knowledge is just absorbing the information, without any input or opinions, then, it won’t be long before this thread dies too. To be the member of any group, we make our presence in print or presence, which unfortunately (I am sorry to say) it lacks here, on this network. But, the dinner was fun with Haresh Tolani’s anecdotes which kept us in splits. We opted for veg meal of harbara kababs, spring rolls and ghatiya savories that I drowned it with virgin mary. The main course comprised of dhal, rotis, mixed veg and paneer and dessert was delicious flan and fruit topped with ice-cream. The meeting was good, smaller group, more interaction with discussions ranging from internet trade, business on net, different internet social networks and films. There was not much discussion on Sindhi culture except practicing few words and quizzing our knowledge on typical Sindhi words. One Sindhi word which Sonu C said, was unknown to all of us……. It was almost 12 when it was time to go home, Haresh, Bina and Sonu B were kind enough to drop me in Bandra, even though it meant re-routing their trip…the friendship has just begun.

Live-in maid has AIDS

My cousin tells me that her maid has AIDS and I am shocked. ‘So what do you plan to do?’ I ask her and she says that she is in dilemma because she is undecided. It is the question of humanity versus responsibility towards her family Her maid was not well for some time, so she took her to the doctor, who suggested that she take some rest and then told her in confidence that her maid has AIDS. She consulted several of her friends and most of them (including me) advised her to fire the maid immediately. We are afraid that she might cut herself during cooking and may pass on her virus. It is a different thing when we were living alone, but with a responsibility towards family and children, it is difficult to take any risk. That was my first impression. On a second thought, is it right to fire the maid just because she has the disease that we cannot handle? What if she were a close family member instead? Would we toss her into the streets and stone her? Would we burn everything in the house that she touched? And what happens to her? Wouldn’t she squirm from rejection and shame, with fear crippling her psychologically and leading her to an immature death? Choosing to support the maid after termination of her job may be a better option but it may not work very well for everybody, it is only a matter of choice. When we allow social pressures to make our choice than we do it out of guilt, or sacrifice without realizing the cost to ourselves or to our loved ones, eventually it drains us completely; emotionally and physically. On doing a little research and debate, I realized that I am really misinformed about this disease. First of all, there's a distinction between being HIV positive and having full-blown AIDS. By the time it morphs into AIDS, the person may not be well enough to handle that kind of job and might require evaluation then. The most common ways to contract AIDS is through unprotected sex and drug use (sharing needles). Nowadays people with HIV Positive can live for years with good medication and proper healthcare and that can easily extend to 10-20 years before her daily life is compromised. HIV virus isn't transmitted through normal physical touch, kissing, sharing the same toilet or eating from the same plate. It is transferred through blood, through sexual contact, or by sharing needles and breastfeeding. If we fired all HIV Positive people they would die of starvation rather than the virus! In the world we live in, we have an obligation to be educated on the basic facts of HIV, as it is a fact of life. On this day “World AIDS Day’ December 1st, let us be educated and not be afraid of this disease because ignorance emits fears, and fears are contagious. HIV can be avoided if we are careful. It is important to practice safe sex. It is important to make sure of use of a single, disposable needle in doctor’s clinic. It is important to make sure that we don’t have HIV before donating blood. With proper education about its prevention and medications, we can avoid the panic reactions and discrimination and choose a better options to live the life of dignity and happiness. Sincere thanks to the members of ‘Comfortable in my own shell’ to Pallavi Bhattacharya, Shannon Hill, Nina Choudhari, Madhumita Chakraborty, James Smith, Jack Huber and Kathy B. Thank you for sharing your views.

Just some thoughts….Celebrate life!

My mom would always tell me, never destroy your own slum by trying to match it with your neighbor’s chalet…..when we start comparing ourselves with others, we will either feel superior or we will feel inferior, both the feelings have distress as end product. So what is our best bet on keeping ourselves happy? Many times, I meet people who delve in the past. They will keeping boring you to tears, relating their long, curvy episodes of their good/bad times, I think that it is not good to live in the past, nor think too much about the future, it is better to live the present and enjoy each moment as it comes. Past and future, both are just a dream state, just some fantasy islands, where we have no part to play and no control whatsoever, it is a phase where we play scarcity and abundance game and build up a wall of expectations and desires. In the game of scarcity, we compare ourselves with our rich folks and envy their good fortune and wonder why we are not so lucky to enjoy like them, possess as much jewelry, or maybe more than them, envy their children, their wealth, their possessions, where as in the game of abundance, we gloat on our accomplishments and build a huge ego, avoiding our less fortunate friends, always afraid that they might steal our possession. We gather an audience to sympathizes with us, and agree with us. When the audience fades, and then comes a big blow of disappointment, knocking us on our knees to reality and leaving behind the ashes of our bruised ego. It is no use focusing on scarcity and feeling sorry for ourselves, nor is it healthy gloating in abundance. It is better to focus on making the present peaceful, whatever it is, accept it as it is, and celebrate every day of our life.

Are single people really desperate or weirdo’s?

I don’t think so…they are the most envied crowd nowadays…they are envied for their independence and their courage…… It is better to be single than to be in stressful or abusive relationship, the romance of marriage is short lived, it lasts longer in hollywood and bollywood movie clips, but reality is different, we see the cream on the top of the cup, but the course granules are there at the base, if you can stir those granules with minimum of ripples, you need to be extra careful. It is better not to waste time, and worry about finding a mate, if he comes along, fine! you can hold on, or else, there are zillion of things to hang on……Have you seen a baby smile? Have you seen a plant blooming into a delicate flower? the beautiful sea across the world, and if we go deep within us, we see the enchanted world within. Why do we worry if our best friend is getting married? Let her get married, Wish her happiness. Let the whole world be married, it matters not…..but there is a saying that goes like ‘When God created world He created one man for every woman’, so, if you find wrong one, he will break off eventually and you will be still searching for the right one and if you don’t find your soul mate, then he is not married too… may be you will meet him some day…one day….up in the ether world…grin* I think every body has a purpose in life and if we look hard enough, we see the purpose of our own life. We need to introspect. Everybody excel in at least one field, it is good to discover our own talent and work from there. Some people spend too much time feeling sorry for themselves and looking desperately for a spouse.. They are afraid that they might remain single all their lives if the age runs out…but they do not realize that in hurry they might make a wrong choice. Some people keep changing partners, they get married and then divorce and marry again.. What are they getting at? If they were not meant to be married so be it,, It is better to analyze what our real purpose in life is. Maybe there is some one out there who will need us more than a careless spouse. If only they could wait patiently, something good will eventually happen. It always does.