I Can Prove that I am a Mumbaite.

I will say "town" and I expect you to know that this means south of Churchgate. (In Bandra, it is a suburb) I speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Mumbaiya Hindi', which only mumbaites can understand.(Samjhe kya?) My door has more than three locks (Two strong one and one latch). Rupees 500 worth of groceries can fit in one paper bag.(its quite expensive here) Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of my close friend’s life.(and they won’t speak to me, not even on their mobile) I spend more time each month traveling than I spend at home. (it takes me more than four hours to pay a visit of two hours at my school) I call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall. (Can’t help it) My paying guests are paying Rupees 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and they think it's a "steal." (and I let them believe it) I have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay. Cabbies and bus conductors think I am from Mars if I call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road . Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which my nieghbours follow passionately. (and they are happy to share) The first thing that we read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.(or a midday) I take fashion seriously. (I update my knowledge on TV) I am suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to me. I cannot see Hookers, beggars and the homeless at traffic signals (I am always short of change) I always compare Mumbai to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India. (NY’s Queens suburb is quite backward) The most frequently used part of my car is the horn. ( I wonder how they clear traffic in western world) I insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.(Why did they change it any way?) I consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. (what do they want, huh?) My idea of personal space is no one actually standing on my toes. (my friends can call me before every visit) Being truly alone makes me nervous.(I would rather go to a crowded mall) I love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.(specially if we fall in the open manhole) Only in Mumbai I can get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken. (and it is available at every cross road) Don’t get confused when in Mumbai, follow your instinct not the name...Because.... Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station. There is no darkness in Andheri. Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden. No king ever stayed at Kings Circle. Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus. Nor is there any princess at Princess Street. Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines. The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi. There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar. Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps. Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.). Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital. Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water. You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street. There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl. There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada. Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market. Null bazaar does not sell taps You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar. Kalachowki does not have a black Police station. Hanging Gardens are not suspended. Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies. Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi, Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi, Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!!! so Beware!

Life in Metro

Okay, Okay, I admit, I went for this movie, first day, first-show. Well, I was too tempted to see it after all those promos on TV. Normally, I am not a movie buff, but this movie had got me real curious, and when my friend asked me to accompany her, I went ahead. And I was not disappointed. Maybe, I was in a good mood. Escaping the summer heat and relaxing in a cool multiplex on a week-end, can be luxurious sometimes. But, I wonder if people in metro city are really living in sin (how come I don’t know any?) All the people were having extra-marital affairs, infidelity, live-in relationships, and the need to make it to the top quickly. The message the film sends out is to give relationships a chance. The fact that you’re never too old to give love a chance (Dharam and Nafisa in love croonings) and that love has to be nurtured in order to let it grow. The characters are easily recognizable—the homemaker (Shilpa Shetty), whose marriage to philandering (Kay Kay Menon) has lost all meaning. She briefly finds solace in the stranger she meets every Saturday (Shiney Ahuja), who has let life pass him by as he struggles to make it on stage, but feels terribly guilty when she is overcome with strong emotions.. Then there is her sister (Konkona Sen Sharma) who is searching for love at 30 and her room mate (Kangna Ranaut), who caught up in a loveless relationship, and (Sharman Joshi) intelligent, ambitious, (who encourages loves to use his apartment while he waits on the streets.) and unable to express his love for Neha. There is also (Irrfan Khan) searching for the perfect partner on shaadi.com.(and ogling the legs of women) All caught up in the relentless pace that comprises big city life. It is basically the story of emotions. They all try to find that special someone even as they go about living their mundane lives. The ones to watch for are Konkona and Irrfan (this is worth all the money you spent on movie and popcorn) as they go about their mismatched lives till reality dawns on one and then the other. Their getting together is accomplished in a hilarious sequence. It was interesting to watch Dharma and Nafisa in their old age romantic moods. Lyrics were good although my friend had a hearty laugh every time those same three singers kept appearing, shabbily dress, and filmed in the same way. Pritam, the music director, and two cronies lip-sync the songs like three fakirs while the film's characters battle their way through their crises.

Religious Path. Follow a right direction? Which side please?

On my recent trip to Madrid, I met a Sindhi woman. We got to talking religion and philosophy. And suddenly she asked me about my Guru. She asked me to tell her which path I had chosen. Was I a follower of Sai Baba, or Dhan Nirankari or Radha Soami. I told her that I have not chosen a Guru as yet because I am highly confused. My family is Radha Soami, my cousins are Dhan Nirankaris and my friends are SaiBaba devotees. Plus there are more than twenty thousand Gurus, and all highly qualified. I want to choose a path that can guarantee me a sure shot heaven. I cannot live long enough to try all of them. I don’t have that much time. For a time being I have chosen to live the life of being an honest human being.I will make a decision soon, in this life time. I hope. She told me there is no hope for me till I make a quick decision and take sides. But yes, I am confused. What do I have to do to become a better person? If eating non-vegetarian is a sin, then, I stand as a sinner, and no Guru shall accept me. But what of those who hurt the sentiments of their fellow companions, killing their souls mercilessly? What about those gossipers who spend endless hours slandering the character of innocent and naïve people? What of those who speak endless lies without even a fraction of a blink? Do the people who have taken ‘Naam’ (initiation) get a free ticket to heaven against all odds? I have attended many discourses (satsangs) and all preach the same thing, time and again, same things, over and over, but still, I see repeatedly that the devotees nod their head in astonishment, every time, pretending, as if they are hearing it for the first time. Repeatedly they ask the same questions (at questions/answers meetings) and get the same answers, but they are surprised every time, as if relevation of solution is disclosed for the first time. Some of them have been devotees for many,many years and they are still wondering the purpose of their life. Still complaining that they find it hard to concentrate on their meditation, still curious about what is lacto-vegetarian diet, still weighing and contemplating as to what medicines (in their veggie world) are safe to take, still finding it difficult to shed off their attachment with their materialistic world. Time and again, it is pointed out that to search truth, we must learn to go inside and find a new world. But still people are outward, running in different direction, from one religious building to another, from hardwar to Beas to Ganeshpuri to Badrinarayan, through valleys and mountains, across the continents, following the Guru in human form, destroying His privacy and His independent space. Guru in human form is a Guide who shows us the right path to follow. A duty of a devotee is follow the path as shown and not have so many (endless) doubts, which don’t seem to find any solutions! A path is shown to one disciple at a time by our Guru, ‘Naam’ is the treasure to be guarded and pampered, not some thing to be worn around the neck and flash it, every time, to every passerby. It is something to appreciate it in solitude, for having a secret communication with your soul, to savor it, to relish it and help yourself to see that bright light and hear that divine music. We are still lost. I stand at a crossroad! Confused!

Organic way of life......

After attending Vijaya Venkat’s nutrition program for 2 months, I have become more and more conscious of the food that I eat. And when ever I eat unhygienic food, I am aware that I am torturing my body. Some times I look around to see if anybody is watching me eat. (Remember I am not supposed to eat!) If I keep advising everybody to eat sensibly, I should be careful too. I am supposed to concentrate on organic food, which is grown like it used to in my grannies’ era. (In its pure form, without any pesticides or chemical, that are used to make them look beautiful, that means it should be without any make-up) In organic food, instead of pesticides, they grow brave trees like neem trees, eucalyptus trees that does ‘Shoo! Shoo!’ every time any pests comes near them. In a way, it is good to eat organic food. Our body is free from all toxic waste. We can conveniently be disease free. Organic food, (besides being free from pesticides and chemical), it is also more nutritious. We don’t have to buy everything organic. We can make a gradual change. I know many people who find organic food more expensive than conventionally produced product. But they should understand that the cost of returning farms to their chemical-free state is higher. And also without fertilizers and modified seeds, the yield is lower than usual. But I think it is still cheaper than the doctor’s bill, were we to eat cheap food, we might fall sick more often and then we will make all doctors happy. (Actually doctors want to survive too and make money, so they keep prescribing pills which cure you from one disease only but create side effect which is guaranteed for a return trip to doctor for more pills for yet one more disease.) I have asked the secretary of my building to ban all those pani-puri wallahs and bhelwallh that sit outside our building. Every time I go down for a long walk, I am forced to eat their bhelpuri and spoil my health unnecessarily. No temptations no sins! I am sure of that!

Dieting in the city.

My mom lived in a nice world. She remained healthy and slim all her life and she had no restrictions on her diet. She would eat whatever she wished and there were no issues to discuss. My aunt lived in a nice world. She remained healthy and big all her life and she had no restrictions on her diet. She would eat whatever she wished and there were no issues to discuss. Nowadays, every second person you meet, you find her slimmer. And looking thin/big is a big issue, thing to discuss, thing to ponder. Whatever is happening to this world? Is there a food shortage or have people just stopped eating? Why is everyone dieting? Every body is aping each other and there is some sort of competition on getting thinner and thinner. Do they seriously mean to become so slim? But why? Why do people want to become so slim that they need to hold on to the lamp post every time there is a gush of strong wind? I think I know the answer. There has been advent of malls in our city. And there are fabulous clothes in every designer’s rack but they don’t seem to suit our big-sized sisters, so they have decided that they need to get into those small-sized pretty clothes. Or maybe, there are too many gyms in our city (one in every lane) and its is a in-thing to belong to some gym or other (‘Oh, what gym do you go?’, ‘I go this gym and we have this film star visiting too’. . ‘oh really, how lucky, I will join too’), It is the deep rooted desire to be the part of and belong to some group or other. Or is it that non-tasty, non-oily food/ snacks that is a craze nowadays? We are having great number of dietician who are trying out range of healthy foods and are seriously looking for big-bodied girls to experiment their stuff and miraculously, it works! The hot topic at the kitty parties is what you can and cannot eat. And the list is endless. And I am very much confused! Everybody says: Don’t eat anything white. That means bread, rice, milk and milk products, salt and sugar should be eradicated from our super-marketing list Don’t eat tin or preserved food. That means all the fragmented food like tin food, packed food, cold-stored food, chopped food should be avoided No drinks. So no coke, Fanta, soft drinks, aerated drinks, tea, coffee. No biscuits, skip the lane in a super market which has biscuits on display No chocolates, skip this row too. No fried stuff. So no samosas, batatawadas, bhajias, puris etc No Mithais or any other sweets. Bad for health. So what do I eat? Only fruits and vegetables, sprouts and nuts? Okay! So when can I eat my normal food again?