Auto-jet-ride

Maybe they get thrills on Mumbai streets with continuous honking, vehicle flying, creeping through the smaller tunnel of traffic, going zigzag, but thud, my butt is three inches above the seat....that’s auto ride, phew!!!

Why do these auto drivers insist on giving roller coaster rides? Do I look the type who cannot afford to go to Disney world?

First of all they are so arrogant. They will go only where they want to go as if they are riding a private jet. I wait at the junction pleading them to take me to my destination, I even wait on the side of the road, in the direction where they are going so that they dont have to take any u-turn, but no, after the refusal from N number of drivers one finally agrees and if I am lucky, I might find one, who is a quiet one, who is just happy to steal innocent glances at me from his rear view mirror. But most of the time they are real badmash. Very, very meany. First of all, they sit cross-legged, riding with only one foot, as if they are sitting on a park bench and then their non-stop rant dotted with their agrressive spits at regular intervals, whole of my Mumbai city they have painted it with dark orange patches, some art galleries on the road there!!! If I complain then he may ask me to get off. I suffer silently. On quiet days, when I need to ruminate, and stitch my thoughts together, their chats are unnecessary diversions and I wish I could have walked instead.

At the end of the journey, I realize their motives of distracting me. They want to charge extra and think I won’t notice. Its funny they never seem to have a rupee coin. They always have two-rupee coin and are willing to give back my one-rupee coin only if I have a rupee to give them back. Most of the times I say ‘keep the change’ but then I feel cheated. Not that one-rupee coin will help buy me a future chalet, but he is cheating many more like me. Imagine if he is doing this trick all day long and on an average he has about fifty such passengers, so at the end of the month he has swallowed Rs1500 without a burp. Aisa thodi na hota hai. Whatever happened to the honest living? Jaane do, what is it for me? Living is expensive and they have to survive.

But, on a second thought, me thinking that would you feel cheated if he refuses to give back the change or am I being unreasonable and sweating over a small stuff??

Auto drivers of Mumbai

Yesterday, I was stranded on the road. There was a row of six auto rickshaws parked in front of me and all refused to take me. It was raining heavily and I was very tired but I could not find one auto that was willing to go. They were all waiting for long distance passengers.

I lost my head, screamed at the driver, removed my note pad and pen and started to note down their auto rickshaw numbers.

Suddenly, they started to protest,(Surprise) one of them came forward and told me not to jot down his number and went to the other end and fetched me another passing auto and I smile victoriously as I settled comfortably to reach home.

Now I am wondering, what could I possibly have done with those auto numbers? Whom would I send? Would any action be taken against those drivers? And why were they afraid that I might report? I was only threatening them and I am unsure as to what I could possibly do?

The auto-guy, who ferried me to my destination was actually forced by these morons to take me and he was arguing with me throughout the journey. He challenged me that I could do nothing and he boasted about the tricks that he had used to confuse his other passengers: for example-

1. He would tell the cop that his meter was down and that he was waiting for somebody else, and he would accuse me of forcing him to abandon his previous passenger.

2. That it was time for him to give his auto back to the owner and he was getting late and couldn't take any more passengers.

3. He even boasted that if the traffic cop had forced him to allowa passenger into his auto then he would drive for few meters and then pretend that his auto is spoilt and will not drive and just present to look into the engine to see the problem with his vehicle. The passenger had a choice of waiting till he explores the problem (in that case the meter will still be running) or they, the passengers decided to change over to the another auto.

“Madam,” he said, “if you are smart, we are smarter. We live in a country where everybody is corrupted and you can do nothing about it.”

But yes you can do something. I discussed this with few of my friends and they told me that I could post my complaints at www.trafficpolicemumbai.org.
In general, locals and visitors can expect an unusual outlook on life, navigation and find out that what might seem like a simple process of getting from point A to B is, in fact, not.

Traveling back to his parents home in India after living abroad a young man hired an auto rickshaw to complete his journey. Giving the driver the address and attempting to settle on a price the journey began. Passing through a new district the auto stops to refuel. Soon they are off again but before the young man can determine where they are the driver has parked and joined some friends in a food stand. Infuriated the young man looks over to see another identical rickshaw pulled up along side his own with an older man waiting inside. "I have been sitting here waiting almost two hours and still have not arrived at my destination!" He declares in rage. "Two hours, is that all?" asks the older man in a relaxed voice. "I have been waiting here since they opened the food stand."

That's auto ride for you!!! Enjoy!!