100 Happy Days: Day 31 Painless Day.

Happiness is ‘experiencing relief after many days of pain’.

My lane has been under construction since last three months. They repaired the water pipes, made new footpaths on either side of road and tarred the road. It is very unsafe to walk, even for abled person. Besides dust and stones, the road is uneven. Everyday, neighbors complained of injuries, some of foot sprains and some of knee pain. I was careful and avoided going out but then, how long can one be confined at home?

Work has to be done, life cannot come to standstill, and one must venture out. I dared. And so, I fell too on my knees on a slippery footpath. The pain was intense. Homebound, I have suffered for 20 days.

Pain is the cross one must carry alone. We can share happiness, our moments of joy but pain has no company. Visitors came to cheer me up but they could never reduce my pain. I spend many sleepless nights fighting with pain.

Our body has an amazing power of healing itself. All we need is to take proper rest and let it heal.

Today, after more than 20 days, I have experience a relief. It feels good to be painless again…..

So here I am, with the project of ‘100 Happy Days’I am posting pictures each day here on my blog then sharing the link on my page on FB too. You can enjoy my work either here or on my page at FB at Pushee’s World

People On The Hills

I would walk thousand miles to watch the wonders of the universe, if only I could. When tired of too much walk, I would knock on the door of the house on the hills and greet the strangers within. Who are those people inside those houses? What keeps them happy or sad? Do their heart shrink with desires, do they expect too much from life? Or are they content with little they have, happy to live side by side with nature? There is bountiful greenery around them, fresh fruits in their garden, a kitchen garden too perhaps. Sun sets every evening casting the red rays on their walls, filtering into their homes with warmer tones. They must be happy lot, they need to be, they cannot complain…or do they??

Tarnished Vices

We alone should be responsible in steering out own path to success. This is very simple if we follow the path avoiding the ugly lanes of seven vices. Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Lust.

Wrath is the vice that one needs to control.

Why do we get angry?

 We normally get angry when things don’t go our way; it’s when there is rejection and disappointment.

But yes! This can be avoided if we keep no expectation from our loved ones and take life as it comes along. There should not be any bitterness and hatred in our life. We have no right to dislike people for what they do. We have to understand their priorities and their limitations. The worst thing that we do is to gossip and tarnish people’s image. Talking about people’s character is not our business. There is no right and no wrong. Everybody has a reason for doing the thing they need to do and if they have no time for us, then accept it and move on. We have to respect people’s privacy and be sure that the person will come around when they realize that we need them.

It’s our nagging that spoils our relationship.

Like a fool, we look for happiness everywhere, in material things, and in people around us. Do we find it?

If it was out there, then nobody would complain of discomfort and fears. Maybe we are looking in wrong places.

Of all the vices, I have realized that pride is the last one to go. This is the most difficult vice to give up and exits only when we stop thinking about what people will say.

Today I got this message in my cell that says:

Ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me doing? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And the most important what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself a big question, is that okay? Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Is this message about being judgmental?

Why should our behavior be based on what others are thinking about us?

We spend too much of our time thinking of the ways to fit into a groove. Join various groups, clubs, kitty parties, spiritual gathering, etc. We are desperate to belong somewhere. We just don’t know how to spend the time with ourselves.

We don't realize that being with one self is the bliss. There is no hatred, no anger and no lust.

There is an inner peace.

 How many times have we heard this cliché: We have come empty handed and shall go empty handed too.

True, we came empty handed but we will not go empty handed. 

Nah!

When we go we shall take our name and our karma with us. It’s the moral values that we have to live by, cleansing ourselves every day, living by our principles and ideology.

Only we alone can make our self happy, rest all is a mirage with which we fool ourselves.

Other bloggers who shared this theme on 7 vices can be traced to GBE2

Random thought-Sloppiness!

There are some lanes in India, untouched by redevelopment, where the lanes are so narrow that you can hear the conversation from across the opposite window. These lanes are unkempt, shabby and filthy but behind these long walls, are the private offices, luxurious and reeking of wealth, where business worth millions of rupees is exchanged.

Why do they pay no attention to the environment when they can easily afford to keep the helpers? Why don’t they repair the streets and replace the broken tiles?

I fail to understand their I-don’t-care attitude.

Real Beauty is Skin Deep

I, like millions and millions of people around the world, found my own mother the most beautiful woman in the world. Mom was a widow for last 40 years of her life and she only dressed in white.

Many years ago, when I lived in Surinam, Parimaribo, one of my friends invited me for a wedding ceremony. I asked my mom to accompany me. She wore a plain white silk sari, her hair rolled up into a small bun, and no make-up at all. For jewelry there was just a pearl necklace, 2 gold bangles and her diamond ear-rings (that she wore all the time). My friends were impressed. Next day when they met me, they told me that my mom was the most fashionable lady they had met. My jaw dropped. Fashionable? I thought my friends to be crazy. How could they call my mom fashionable when she was dressed so simple? She had no make-up on, no flashy clothes, no fancy handbag and no matching shoes. I looked closely at my mom to try to figure out fashionable element in her and discovered that my mom wore grace and a smile – maybe it was that what they perceived as elite. Who-so-ever met mom were always in awe with the way she carried herself.

Real beauty is skin deep, which is cliché but undisputable fact. One status I read recently on FB said “Search for truth and you shall find beauty, search for beauty and you shall find love, search for love and you shall find God, search for God and you shall have them all”

There are hundreds of ads on TV that show products that promises beautiful body, smooth and clear skin, long flowing hair, a group of admirers who will go ga-ga and drool over our physical beauty. I have met many people who fall for these products and who will swear that they will strive to be beautiful. I envy them when I see them dressed in most expensive finery that the money can buy. I know I cannot afford those things and even if I could, they won’t suit me. Every time I look into the mirror, it puts me into a pause mode. Not having a perfect figure is the big disadvantage. My mind drifts back to one nagging question “What will people think?” or maybe, I get conscious that some may feel sorry for me that nothing really suits me and am still trying so hard to keep abreast with fashion fads, which results into even more depressing mode than looking at the ugly figure in the mirror. I cannot change that so I stopped trying. I decided if anybody needs to see the beauty in me, they need to know me because I will continue to maintain the inner beauty instead.

Beauty has different meaning for different people, like in the video of Gul Panag, where she talks about women empowerment, of respecting oneself, which is also one facet of beauty, of building one’s pleasant quality.

Some time ago, one of my friends’ #FF me on Twitter as ‘beautiful people’ asking her followers to follow me. I was flattered. Now this friend is my virtual friend whom I have never met, (and not sure if I will ever meet her) so naturally she is not likely to learn about that image that haunts me everyday from the reflecting surfaces. For her, I am the person whom she knows through my writing abilities, through the range of my work with mentally challenged, through my choice of my friends’ circle, through my lens at photographs that I post on my walls. I have never tried to make any impression on anybody but sub-consciously, my thoughts get translated and interpreted into the messages that reach out to people who care.

A beautiful face can easily be Photo-Shopped on virtual wall, it just requires the right kind of tools to brush away the scars and blemishes but can our thinking and beliefs be hidden from the real world?

What kind of beauty is that if we wear it with an attitude? When we show no compassion for our fellow human being and are so occupied with our own self that we just don’t care?

We may have walked the red carpet with a crown on our head, have brought home thousand of gifts from our admirers during the beauty pageant, or even hosted ‘Get Gorgeous’ shows, but the fact is that besides being beautiful, we need to be draped with beautiful habits too. We throw away the dirty cotton swabs on our dresser after cleaning our face, the lipstick cover is missing, the talc powder is sprinkled everywhere and we wait for somebody else to clean our mess? Cleanliness is next to spirituality. If we cannot keep our environment clean then the bad vibrations that surround us, results in bad temper, restlessness and unstable mind. The bad mood seeps out of our thick face-pack showing the ugly chip of our character.

However rich our finery is, however expensive our cosmetics, the real beauty will never get a chance to shine its worth if it lies burried under the layers and layers of our bad attitude; the ugly lines of bad manners will continue to crinkle our face.

This Indiblogger contest is what kick started my thoughts on ‘real beauty’

Note: This post is written as a part of What does real beauty mean to you?? conducted by  Yahoo!! Real Beauty in association with Dove !!

and this is what I received as a gift hamper as a token of appreciation
Thank you Dove and Indiblogger.....

Random thoughts -Why are we always trying to please?

People who like us will accept us the way we are, so why must we go out of our way to be goody-goody?

In trying to please others, we are too obssessed with comparing ourselves to others.

Whenever we try to compare ourselves to others, a strange feeling comes over us making us feel superior or inferior as the case may be..

We are not ready to admit that we lack something and we try to cover that up with silence or may sometimes go secretedly to a library to understand that knowledge of know-how or simply we may drown ourselves in self pity when we feel that we never had opportunity to learn and the circumstance were not in our favor.

On the other hand, when we feel superior and think that we are more intelligent than our friends, we start wearing the cap of attitude and we close our mind to further learning....

In both counts we are pretending to be what we are not.

Auto-jet-ride

Maybe they get thrills on Mumbai streets with continuous honking, vehicle flying, creeping through the smaller tunnel of traffic, going zigzag, but thud, my butt is three inches above the seat....that’s auto ride, phew!!!

Why do these auto drivers insist on giving roller coaster rides? Do I look the type who cannot afford to go to Disney world?

First of all they are so arrogant. They will go only where they want to go as if they are riding a private jet. I wait at the junction pleading them to take me to my destination, I even wait on the side of the road, in the direction where they are going so that they dont have to take any u-turn, but no, after the refusal from N number of drivers one finally agrees and if I am lucky, I might find one, who is a quiet one, who is just happy to steal innocent glances at me from his rear view mirror. But most of the time they are real badmash. Very, very meany. First of all, they sit cross-legged, riding with only one foot, as if they are sitting on a park bench and then their non-stop rant dotted with their agrressive spits at regular intervals, whole of my Mumbai city they have painted it with dark orange patches, some art galleries on the road there!!! If I complain then he may ask me to get off. I suffer silently. On quiet days, when I need to ruminate, and stitch my thoughts together, their chats are unnecessary diversions and I wish I could have walked instead.

At the end of the journey, I realize their motives of distracting me. They want to charge extra and think I won’t notice. Its funny they never seem to have a rupee coin. They always have two-rupee coin and are willing to give back my one-rupee coin only if I have a rupee to give them back. Most of the times I say ‘keep the change’ but then I feel cheated. Not that one-rupee coin will help buy me a future chalet, but he is cheating many more like me. Imagine if he is doing this trick all day long and on an average he has about fifty such passengers, so at the end of the month he has swallowed Rs1500 without a burp. Aisa thodi na hota hai. Whatever happened to the honest living? Jaane do, what is it for me? Living is expensive and they have to survive.

But, on a second thought, me thinking that would you feel cheated if he refuses to give back the change or am I being unreasonable and sweating over a small stuff??

Tofu..I seem to like it

It is soft.

Well, it depends on the type I am having right now, but it is much, much better than paneer, actually I don't like paneer and I eat it only when I have to...that is when it is too rude to refuse.

Therefore I was happy to get some great tips on getting a perfect bite

and even more happy when another friend willing shared her recipe of tofu with bell pepper with me

Ah! It is easy to go veggie when there is no competition.

When you visit me next time, remind me to cook tofu for you. Of course it will be different, and better, *wink* my estyle....Nobody can beat my cooking estyle, for that I am sure. *giving you a happy grin*

On the subject of Spirituality

This excerpt caught my attention today

“The subject of spirituality is far too complex for a worldly man to comprehend without the intervention and assistance of a perfect Master, just as no one has ever qualified as a doctor or engineer by simply reading books, the subject of spirituality is extremely difficult and one that can only be understood gradually over a period  of time.” Spiritual Links

And yet, every second person I meet has long lecture to give me on spirituality.

Agreed, I don’t really know what I do at the temple or at any religious structure (for that matter) except to admire the architecture. I see people shut their eyes and murmur, talking to God and I wonder how they pray. Sing His praises? Ask for favors? I was told that we should never ask God of anything and let Him decide what is best for us because if we force Him to give us something that we didn’t really deserve, then it may be granted but it becomes the object of suffering in our life.

And there are people who tell me how they wished they had not forced God by going on hunger strike, fasting for days on end, visiting every temple, bathing in holy waters, and doing everything that pundit suggested for the miracle to happen. And the miracle did happen but now, they wished they could be liberated from that bondage. My friend once told me “I have stopped begging God for anything because whatever I asked, has been the cause of my suffering”

For me, spirituality has different meaning. Showing compassion and respect to every human being, irrespective of his status, size or color. If we hurt a single person, then we are unsuccessful in life. If we cannot give happiness to people then it better to keep out and be on our own. Yes, there are days when I forget my obligations towards society, hello, I am not perfect, I know, and sometimes I do get carried away and make jokes which may hurt people (which of course I didn’t mean to). but I am grateful to my loved ones who remind me when I err. I have given them that much leverage. If I don’t allow them to guide me then who will?

But, being good is to do the best we can to make other’s life comfortable. Walk an extra mile to bring a smile on a weaker face. What is the use of lying, cheating and pretending what we are not, whom do we fool? Is getting love on those grounds so important? Is it really important to impress others? Why do we care so much about other people’s opinion to shape our lives? Why do we get upset if people don’t recognize us or agree with us? Why do we feel so happy winning some meaningless contest. These are momentary happiness and they may boost our ego, but just for a while. Shouldn’t we merge with our own conscience and be true to our self?

Doing what is right and being true to oneself is religion. That is spirituality for me.

Random Thoughts on Survival

Do we really need too much money??? we have only two feet to wear one pair of shoes, we need just two pairs of clothes, one car, one job, one house and enough to eat and share. So why should we earn too much money??? Why should we snatch money from others when we don’t really need the excess? Well I believe that it is certainly not right to snatch money for extra comfort. We are not living in a safe world. Today we do find in each and every newspapers, TV channels, this murder, that murder, rape, snatching, bribery and so many ways people adopt to snatch others money. But can we change other people’s action? WHat we can do is to only mend our own ways and try to live our own life in the best way that we can. We should try to concentrate on what we can change and if plastic money can be used to stop the criminals from functioning, then we have a strong tool. But personally thinking Money is important. Many people do take lot of energy to earn money in a mad race so that they are able to make a difference.. And make this place a better place to live in. Money can buy happiness if used in correct way. Because we need money for everything. Because to lead a respectable life and to be able to do what we really want to do. Okay I will tell you about the discomfort we have when we don’t have enough money to make a difference in somebody else’s life. Somebody comes asking for monetary help and you have to refuse it because you don’t have enough for yourself. If we have talent then we are blessed and if we can make money using that talent then we can start buying comfort. When we have exhausted our own needs then we need to look outside. There is so much pain in this world, so much suffering and many of them suffer because they have neither strength nor talent to make money to make their life better. That is where the rich people come in. Rich people with big hearts reach out to people to help those who are not so fortunate. And the rewards you get for that work cannot be described. Get a poor girl married and see the look on her face, it will bring joy. Get a child educated and he grows up to be successful and when he brings a box of chocolates out of gratitude for you, you get that different kind of happiness. Everybody has a purpose in life. Even a plant does not just grow and die. During its presence on earth, it gives shade, fruits and greenery to the world. It gives inspiration to poets and writers. Even after its death, it leaves behind its woody usefulness. Similarly, our presence in is world is there for some purpose. We are in this world to do something and we only need to find out what it is to make our life meaning full World is not just paper notes, plastic money and also some minerals like gold, diamond etc.. It is something more than that……. Moreover, don’t expect anything in return. Don’t sit and crib that people are enjoying your money but they are ungrateful. We must do our duty and not expect fruits in return. For every action there is a reaction. If you wish to live selfishly, then you really don’t need to accumulate wealth, if you are concerned only about your own comfort, then stop working when you feel that you have enough and don’t need anymore money and start enjoying the world, travel, see places and finish off your wealth. Don’t share your wealth if you don’t want and miss the opportunity of seeing the real wealth surrounding you..

Random thoughts ~ Complaining

Mumbai is celebrating Ganesha at every street……and I am introspecting…. If your intention is to worry then you are likely to touch slippery ground. It is your mind that makes you win your battles. Battle is between positive and negative qualities within us. The mind keeps changing everyday it is how we expose our self to that knowledge that we can find peace. It is possible to create a new habit in 21 days. And new habit we must, to change our bad habit and be a better person. The habits that cause us pain should be eradicated from our system. I never have found complaining the best option. It makes the things even worse. And to whom should I complain? People are so pre-occupied with their own problems that they would hardly care if you were uncomfortable. In the company of hundred people there will be one person who will truly care, but to reach that person, we miss so many turn, that most of the time we are left with solving our own problems. And if we can really solve our own problems then what is the use of complaining and telling others our problems?? It is hard lesson I have learnt but I have learnt to deal with it. And its feels good that people find me happy-go-lucky. They don’t hear me complaining and I am not about to seek their pity. The root cause of all our problems is the attachment. Whenever I have got attached to people, they have been the cause of my misery and conflict. My intentions have always been good but how do I understand other people’s intentions? People have crazy minds and they form their own opinions. Even though my attachment is pure and not selfish at all, they will make nasty comments and give it a name. Why? I fail to understand. World is mixture of opposites and to remain happy we have to adjust because world is not likely to change. It is no use fighting and trying to change anything. We have to decide what is good for us and put our foot down to what is not necessary. In every experience there is a lesson to be learnt.

The Power is Within Me

After many lazy Tuesday, I went today to attend Jaya Row’s spiritual class. I like going for her class to wear the spiritual blanket and think under my bonnet. It gives me insight of who I am. It reminds me of my duty towards leading a good life, more over, I like the interactive session, where people ask question about the subjects that they already know but act ignorant and I start thinking about it. I am wondering if people ask question just to get attention to them selves or do they really not know the answer? Many of the questions I hear them repeated class after class. Do they really suffer from amnesia or is their mind wandering in another fantasy world when their questions are being answered? Anyways, today this lady was asking the difference between disciple and Guru. Now as far as I can remember, she must be attending this class for more than ten years already and she quite regular, does she really not know the answer? Is she really searching for answers? I can’t believe this, why cant people ask something that they don’t know….. Well, Jaya Row has patience, because she also must be aware of this lady’s presence in her class for more than ten years, but still she went on to answer her question and explained patiently the difference between Guru and Disciple. Patiently, she explained that Guru is one who is at a higher level and he is able to guide us in overcoming hurdles in life. He helps us to keep the balance between devotion and knowledge, Disciple is the seeker while guru is the guide. Disciple should know what to ask from a guru, but many people are misguided and they will ask such stupid question such as what they should name their child or what property will be useful to them. Is it sensible to ask your guru for materialistic gain? Shouldn’t they be asking their Guru the spiritual guidance to reach the salvation? And what is the right path to follow, how they can lead a better life and be a good human being? A Guru is one who has power of communicating with his disciple and showing him the real path, he should be knowledgeable himself so that he has power to guide his disciple. He should have capacity to teach and the disciple should have sincerity to learn and have desire for liberation. My mom would often say that I don’t have to go to seek my Guru; I just have to strive to be a good human being and lead a good and clean life, follow the rules of our society and live within my means. When the time for spiritual enlighten will come, my Guru will find me And I will know that He has come…..…..because I will know that I am ready, when I will understand the powers within me….…..

Random thoughts-A Struggler

However big we grow, we never cease to be a struggler. Life is the continuous stage of progress and we are learning new things everyday. A good student is one who realizes that he is ignorant and is willing to learn. The day, he thinks that he knows everything; that will be the last day of his creative mind. A good student is one who is able to use his intellect to discriminate the right from wrong. He is able to use his intellect to let go of things that are not important to him, he should be able to decide when to make contact between senses and intelligence and nurses a desire for liberation. If we are living in any urban state, we are likely to have many visitors. But what is our attitude towards our visitors? We are very hospitable. We go out of our way to be kind to them; we take them out for shopping, movies and try to accommodate them, sometimes beyond our limits. Do we really have to go to that extreme and inconvenience our self? Do we need to shelf our own duties for our guests? Or, on the other hand, sometimes we think they are invading our private space. We are afraid that if we are nice to them, they might stay for ever. We start being rude to them and spoil the relationship. This is situation when we need to discriminate where we can draw the line. We have intellect to make proper discrimination and make proper choice. It is no use going for instant pleasure. We must have courage to give up what is not important. We have to focus on waste disposal of unimportant things. We have intellect to discriminate right from wrong. If we clutter our life with too many unwanted things then we get restless. It is believed that Eisten had only four identical suits in his ward robe. He did not want to waste even one moment in deciding what to wear. But what do we do? We have so much greed that we want to buy everything that we see our friends buying. We have no room to store and we keep cluttering our house with unwanted things. How many shoes can we wear on our two feet? Do we really need hundred pairs of shoes? And for what? There are some, who will borrow jewelry from their friends to wear it for an occasion. Why? Do we really need to impress people? If we don’t have, it okay not to have, why can’t we be content with whatever we have? We sacrifice our own happiness by living the ways of the world. The true happiness lies in being contend with whatever we have. Aping others is sure to make us miserable. We have to learn the art of self control and mind control. We should be able to control our emotions, our desires, anger, and jealousy. These emotions are killers of our happiness. We have to seek the higher goal of liberation and we should be able to differentiate the freedom from bondage of unimportant desires.

Education is must…for complete progress

Today my maid comes to work with a perforated black plaster on her ankle and I am curious. When I ask her, she says that the black plaster will ease pain from her knees and her back. She is constantly in pain but she does not take any leave of absence. I feel very guilty of making her work for me, especially when she is so much in pain. I have never cut her salary if she skips a day of absence but still she is always very regular. I am sure that if she was to work only for me, then she would take holiday when she is unwell. But unfortunately, she works for three more families, doing the same work day after day, everyday. People in India are very lazy and they get agitated when their maid does not turn up for work. Whenever she is absent, she is loaded with extra work on her return. Such is the life of people who are uneducated and poor. She realizes this and hopes that her children will be educated so that they don’t suffer like her. But the environment that they live is not conducive for education. There are many distractions, where she lives and the children who live in the slums, spent most of their time playing on the streets or, trying to earn a living for their parents by begging on streets or working in some industry. So, where is the time to study? There are many NGOs who try to provide food, clothing and clean environment, some of them conduct free classes for them but the initiative should come from children themselves and from their parents. If they show no interest in studying, what can any NGO do? For that matter, what can anybody do?

Random thoughts on heart and mind

There a direct link between the state of heart and state of mind. Whenever we are disturbed and agitated, we cannot concentrate and we lose interest in everything. Our mind is all the time preoccupied with worry and we cannot find solutions. We have no interest in food, play or any sensual activities. What do we do? Will talking to people help? I think nobody can help us. People might be sympathetic to us, try to give us solutions and might even try to pacify us but they cannot help us overcome our agitation. Only we can help ourselves. First and foremost, it is important that we don’t expect help and learn to deal with it. There are many things that we cannot change, so it is better to accept it. We can try our bit to change it but that is all we can do. We cannot expect others to do what we think is right. For example, there is so much corruption around us. Everybody is out to cheat. They expect bribery and will make things difficult for us if we do not oblige. So what do we do? If bribery and corruption is against our principle, we stick to it and not encourage it and face the discomfort. We can do our bit by standing firm by our principles and face the consequences. But can we stop our friends to stand by our principles? No. We cannot. They have to make their choice. Every body has their own intellect and it depends how they train their intellect. If they make wrong choices, it is because their intellect is weak or it is sleeping. They have to awaken their intellect so that their mind decides what is right. We all have to do our own obligatory duties; we cannot expect fruits for every action that we make, but what needs to be done, should be done. If our concentration is shifted from our duty to do what is necessary, to expecting fruit for our action, the quality of our work will suffer. For maintaining a healthy balance between our mind and heart, it is important to do what is right and not agitate our intellect by compressing it against our senseless desires.

Randomness

The recent and most popular post that I see on the FB is this randomness where you write 25 facts about you, and tag your 25 friends to share your post. It is quite interesting to read different posts by different friends..and I have read the posts of all my friends who post it, whether they tag me or not..... Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. (To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page on the FB, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.) So Now about me: 25 random things about me... 1. I love children, their smiles, their movements, their innocent talks and I love watching them play 2. I enjoy the company of people who have good sense of humor 3. My motto for cooking is to enjoy my food the first time but don’t ask for repeats.. I can’t reproduce the same taste…. 4. I don’t like dogs but they love me, can’t understand why? Whatever happened to those mutual feelings? 5. I love listening to music on radio and also all that bakwas 6. I prefer watching films in the comfortable and nice theatre. 7. I used to love watching TV once upon a time but after internet, it is now, an excess furniture. 8. I love eating in fancy restaurants and attending wacky parties on OPM (Other People’s Money) 9. I compliment ‘Me’ in the mirror everyday and remind myself that I am the best. 10. I don’t like chocolates, cakes, sweets, fruits, ice creams and pastries, spicy food is tasty 11. I don’t crave for anything that is beyond my reach and I am most contented with whatever I have 12. Three questions I ask myself whenever I go for shopping, Do I need it? Is there enough storage available for new purchase? Is it worth it? I will buy only what I really, really need. 13. I am impatient with people who are untidy, disorganized, irritable and nags 14. I love to travel comfortably and like exploring new places. 15. I love my freedom and my life that I like to live on my own terms 16. I am offended when people mistreat or abuse their spouse in public and I am angry at people, who can’t stand up for their rights. 17. I don’t like to draw any attention to myself and prefer to do everything quietly. 18. I don’t care if some one else takes the credit for the work that I have done and feels happy wearing my crown. 19. I have great faith in my God and I believe that His Grace always protects me and makes everything easy for me. 20. I am very honest to myself and I don’t feel the need to lie because I am afraid of nobody 21. I had a very unhappy childhood. For first ten years of my life, I lived away from my family and was abused by my teachers because I was stupid. When my family came to live with me, my life changed for the better. 22. I am afraid of poor attendance at my funeral 23. I love playing cards and lexulous, online and offline. 24. I neither drink nor smoke but still I am always intoxicated by different moods. 25. Writing 25 things about me was a very difficult exercise for me but tagging 25 people is quite easy

Competitive World

I sat in front of my plasma to watch the greatest show on the earth. The Olympic Inauguration show left me spell bound. It was an amazing $300 million spectacle that featured 15,000 performers, nearly 11,000 athletes from 204 countries, and I envied those who were present there to witness it in person. All I can say is ´Wow´ With large population it is easy to sort great number of talents and place them into different slots. On word ´China´, we think of food, painting, and Tai chi, imitation of branded goods, fire works, and human rights and now we will talk about the stunning big bang show of drummers and box men and amazing fire works Can it be replicated by another nation too? Can we do it? We have a large population in India too. We too have great number of talents worth mentioning. Unfortunately, many of them are stamped under the heavy foot of politics and diplomacy of the system. Besides having talent, it is important to have influence or money to pull the strings. Last year, one special child (whom I know personally) was selected for Special Olympics. Special coach was appointed to train her for table tennis event, passport and all travelling needs were met but she was dropped off from the games just few weeks before the games. No reasons given. The parents and her teachers were shocked by these turn of events but chose to remain silent. If deserving candidates are not given chance to enter the competitive world, how can we expect to bring home any Gold?

I don’t play Holi anymore.

Not that I don’t like this festival, (Actually I do) but the mess that follows later (cleaning the house and the bathrooms) is unnecessary waste of time. Early morning I heard the laughter of kids who were playing with color in the building compound. There were sounds of children running, shouting, and giggling. After saying a short morning prayers, I went to my bedroom balcony to watch the children play. Happily they sprinkled colors on faces of their friends, red, blue, green and the festival had arrived with vibrant hues and the celebration of life was here again. Hoil, the festival of colors, mischief, pranks, a day when you get away with any practical jokes and yet dance to a loud music. Holi is a festival of universal brotherhood and happiness. The bonfires that are lit on the eve of Holi are in reminder of the value of true faith in God. Many years ago, we would lit the fire in the lane and all the neighbors would come with coconut, sweets and water, and we would walk three times around the bonfire, break the coconut, sprinkle water and red color powder and then we would play games like antakshri or dumbsheras till late nights. This year I went with my sister to the corner of the street and watched while my sister went closer to the fire to pray. Didn’t want to risk walking around the bonfires, was afraid that I might slip on the wet ground and harm myself. Many years ago, we looked forward to these festivals and took part in all the festivities. We were young then, our vocal chord had higher decibels. We knew all the bollywood numbers and a great stamina to keep awake all night with friends and sing and laugh. Now, Holi is a day to celebrate with family, enjoying lunch, chat and play a game of cards with family and friends. I like to watch children play Hoil, like to watch youngster dance to the loud music and do rain dance, I enjoy this festival, but now I watch it from a distance. Not that I have become old, it is just that now my priorities have changed.

This Saturday I attended a seminar on ‘Woman and Legal/property Right’.

It was quite an interesting event with the attendance of over one hundred ladies and it also included few men. Most of the women came loaded with their own pockets of grievance, hoping to find solutions to their problems that related to their property rights We had different speaker that included Adv. Y.P.singh, ADV. Arvind Jain, Dr Mahendre Mehta, Adv Rajesh Mudholkar. Dr Indu Shahani, the women ‘Sheriff of Mumbai City’ was the chief guest. She is the driving force behind women’s empowerment and she has coordinated with various NGO’s in addressing the various problems of women. She has started a helpline (call 1298) for women who are facing sexual or violence harassments. She pointed out to the powers of the youth and how they can be encouraged in redefining leadership. Dr Shashi Sharma, WGG Chairperson, expressed the need for the mind set of the society to change, citing different examples about how a girl is programmed to work and help in the housework while boys are encouraged to study or to play. The division of the responsibility and difference in sex privileges are marked out at early age. She stressed the need to change this mind set and believed that everybody could be encouraged to perform to their best of their ability, irrespective of their sex preferences Advocate, Ms Flavia Agnes, chairperson of MAJLIS, spoke about the different sexual and violence problems that women are facing and leading them to commit suicide. The issues of dowry death, sexual harassment and violence have not increased over the years, but it seems so, because initially many of these crimes would go unreported. There is a vulnerability of the women that subjects them to crime and violence. They are afraid to report because they are blamed for the crime. She argued that women would not commit suicide if she is educated and independent and has her own bank account. She believes that woman should not marry under the pressure of family and society; she should first be educated and independent and marry only when she is ready to marry some one of her choice. It should not be mandatory but it should be a decision of one’s free will. She stressed the fact that if woman is educated and has a position of power, nobody can touch her. General scenario of property laws for women was discussed by advocate Arvind Jain. After 56 years of independence, woman is still discriminated in becoming an heir to the estate on par with her counterpart man. In fact, discrimination, though unconstitutional in the face of sacred Article 14 of the constitution is not uniform and does not guarantee that no citizen shall be discriminated on the basis of sex. Needless to say, thus, the laws which aim at empowering the vulnerable section of the society must not be read down. After the delicious, vegetarian lunch of assorted vegetables, snacks, ice cream and sweets, second segment of the seminar continued. Adv Y.P. Singh focused on women's denied rights and how we could deal formally/ informally/legally with them. He stressed the need for ‘Right to Information’ he said that it is very important to be well informed of all the assets and the liability of the family wealth and weigh the options with a open mind. Woman of the house should know her financial and the property status of the family. Dr Mahendra Mehta discussed the need for woman to know her rights. She should know about all the assets that are owned by the family such as shares, mutual funds, art and paintings, silver/gold/diamond ornaments, cash, real estate, etc. She should be aware of her property status, investments and retirement plans and she should have a proper understanding of taxation and various legal issues. He enlightened us on the financial issues, its understanding and methods of savings/long term plans. Adv Rajesh Mudholkar discussed the importance of 'Will Making', reading the finer prints and understanding the details which could help in facing the pressures of relatives. There were question/answer sessions which were discussed in great details and that added color and hue to the meeting. The seminar that lasted for over eight hours was not enough to satiate the curiosity of the empowered women. It was an interesting debate to drum the men’s minds and chew their brains for many more days, thereafter….

March Read Meet under Open Skies.

One more lovely evening, I attended with my Caferati folks, this time in South Mumbai, Kemps Corner, to be exact. The theme this month was on sharing notes on the workshops that we had attended during Kala Ghoda Festival in February 2008. I was surprised by the number of people who were anxious to attend. The members at the read-meets were dwindling lately, sometimes as low as five members, but this read-meet was choc-a-bloc. Writers were waiting for some other members to drop out, so that, they could be accommodated. Was it because there were notes to be shared or was it because it was at a convenient location? Whatever, I think people always need a reason to attend, especially if they are not a regular. And, members who attended were not disappointed. Who would? A read meet on a terrace, facing the sea, a generous crowd, who is willing to share their knowledge with people, some of those, whom they are meeting for the first time, a perfect hostess, Kareena Merchant, who made everybody comfortable with her warm chats and tasty chaats and a meticulous organizer, Suniti Joshi, who did lot of leg work alone and yet, so precisely perfect. Hats off to Suniti, who always takes extra effort and time and responds to every member patiently! I was lucky this time to find two friends, who were willing to share a taxi with me and we reached at the venue on the dot of 5pm. After warm up and the introduction of 27 members in Kareena’s house, we went upstairs to the terrace to bathe in the sunshine amidst the cool winds of the open seas. The meeting continued with poem read by Jaya Bhandari, a fiction by Soma Sarkar and a descriptive poem by John. So engrossed was I in their readings, that I forgot to watch the sun-set. (Actually I was sitting in a wrong direction, facing the tall buildings and a cliff of the ‘Hanging Gardens’), But I saw a black bird, resting up there, on a TV antenna, who wanted an audience too, but his verses swayed in the breeze. A short break after the readings was not very short because the snacks were too tasty. It takes time to eat Sev Puri, sandwiches, batatwadas and walnut cake and drown it with a cup of tea/coffee. Second session started with Suniti sharing her ‘Performance Poetry’, Ramesh on ‘Writing for Children’, Samarth on ‘Screen Writing’ Archana on ‘Pastoral Poetry and Kareena on “Freelancing’. I was aware of the time limit of the read meet, and I wanted to hear about other’s experience (and not waste my time, hearing myself speak,) therefore I had prepared notes (Xeroxed it 15 times) on the points that were discussed during the workshop on ‘Getting Published’ and I was happy to distribute it to those, who were interested. I am glad I did that, because the meeting had extended for too long, (9:30pm) and it was getting very late to reach back home. Some of the busy members had to rush off half way to attend to their other commitments, and I was glad that I was able to share my notes with them too.