What is the moral of this story??

I got this humorous email that says: “If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America because of the following: Where are you going? With whom? Why? How are you going? To discover what? Why you? What do I do, when you are not here? Can I come with you ? Coming back when? Dinner ghar par hi khaoge? Mere liye kya laoge? It seems you deliberately made this ....Hain na... Why? Dont lie.... Why r u making such programs You seem to be making a lot of such programs….Why? I want to go to my parents place I want you to come and leave me I don’t want to come back.... I will never come back.... Why are u not stopping me.... I don’t understand what is this discovery chakker? You always do like this..... Last time also u did like this.... Now a day’s u always seem to do like this.... I still don’t understand what else is balance to be discovered... Itne sab questions ke baad..... America kya, he may not have reached the front porch of his house.” Hahaahaha and Ha!!! What this person doesn’t know is that today, it’s the men who ask too many questions… and then…like babies they whine…all the time… Women have learnt to take everything in their stride They have learnt to live in this world with grace and pride Managing their workplace and also thier home Leaving fragrance of fresh flowers in thier comfort zone If men choose to have a woman by his side And still if he wishes to travel for extra dime She can wait till dawn and never ever yawn She is happy to relax in her social networks lawns.

‘Snow Flower and the Secret Fan’ by Lisa See

While in lagos, I had ample time to catch up with the reading. My niece lent me her book assuring me that it is a good book. and it was. 'Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See is the book that I enjoyed reading. This is an extraordinary tale of Chinese Culture in 19th century, set in a remote Hunan county, it is a story of a bond between two girl friends,(the laotang or old same) Snow Flower and Lily that lasts a lifetime. The laotang, Snow Flower, introduces herself at the age of seven to Lily by sending her a silk fan on which she has written a poem in ‘Nu shu’ (meaning women’s writing) a unique language that only Chinese women could communicate secretly away from influence of men. Having a wife with bond feet was a status symbol for men in the 19th century and consequently having bonded feet increased a woman’s chances of marriage into a wealthier household. Women took great pride in their feet which was considered not only beautiful but also their best and most important feature. Snow flower and Lily had their feet bound during the same time and there begins their friendship. They both endure the agony of foot binding and together reflect upon their arranged marriage, shared loneliness and the joys and tragedies of motherhood. Excerpt: Snow Flower My son is here beside me My child bearing pollution days are not over My husband visits in the morning His face is happy My son has eyes that stare at me in question I can’t wait to see you at one month party Please use your best words to put my son on our fan Tell me of your new family I don’t see my husband too often. Do you? I look out the lattice window to yours You are always singing in my heart I think of you everyday Lily Lisa See has triumphed, writing an achingly beautiful story through vivid memoirs of eighty year old woman who reflect on her life during the 19th century and her relationship with her laotang Snow flower. Nu shu is the backdrop over which the whole story is woven. This haunting, beautiful and ineffably sad tale of longing so intense as to be taken beyond the grave, is written in See's characteristically strong prose. She has a keen ear for Lily's yearning, and manages to depict an era and place vastly different from our own Westernized world with grace, acumen and not a little humility. In her capable hands, Lily evolves as a character with whom the reader (of either gender) can feel a deep affinity, for Lily's quest is irrespective of era or geography or even isolation. See makes her audience feel what Lily feels, to identify with her desperate desire to be touched at that place we call "soul," to exorcise the alienation she feels through one passionate connection with another person.

This Saturday I attended a seminar on ‘Woman and Legal/property Right’.

It was quite an interesting event with the attendance of over one hundred ladies and it also included few men. Most of the women came loaded with their own pockets of grievance, hoping to find solutions to their problems that related to their property rights We had different speaker that included Adv. Y.P.singh, ADV. Arvind Jain, Dr Mahendre Mehta, Adv Rajesh Mudholkar. Dr Indu Shahani, the women ‘Sheriff of Mumbai City’ was the chief guest. She is the driving force behind women’s empowerment and she has coordinated with various NGO’s in addressing the various problems of women. She has started a helpline (call 1298) for women who are facing sexual or violence harassments. She pointed out to the powers of the youth and how they can be encouraged in redefining leadership. Dr Shashi Sharma, WGG Chairperson, expressed the need for the mind set of the society to change, citing different examples about how a girl is programmed to work and help in the housework while boys are encouraged to study or to play. The division of the responsibility and difference in sex privileges are marked out at early age. She stressed the need to change this mind set and believed that everybody could be encouraged to perform to their best of their ability, irrespective of their sex preferences Advocate, Ms Flavia Agnes, chairperson of MAJLIS, spoke about the different sexual and violence problems that women are facing and leading them to commit suicide. The issues of dowry death, sexual harassment and violence have not increased over the years, but it seems so, because initially many of these crimes would go unreported. There is a vulnerability of the women that subjects them to crime and violence. They are afraid to report because they are blamed for the crime. She argued that women would not commit suicide if she is educated and independent and has her own bank account. She believes that woman should not marry under the pressure of family and society; she should first be educated and independent and marry only when she is ready to marry some one of her choice. It should not be mandatory but it should be a decision of one’s free will. She stressed the fact that if woman is educated and has a position of power, nobody can touch her. General scenario of property laws for women was discussed by advocate Arvind Jain. After 56 years of independence, woman is still discriminated in becoming an heir to the estate on par with her counterpart man. In fact, discrimination, though unconstitutional in the face of sacred Article 14 of the constitution is not uniform and does not guarantee that no citizen shall be discriminated on the basis of sex. Needless to say, thus, the laws which aim at empowering the vulnerable section of the society must not be read down. After the delicious, vegetarian lunch of assorted vegetables, snacks, ice cream and sweets, second segment of the seminar continued. Adv Y.P. Singh focused on women's denied rights and how we could deal formally/ informally/legally with them. He stressed the need for ‘Right to Information’ he said that it is very important to be well informed of all the assets and the liability of the family wealth and weigh the options with a open mind. Woman of the house should know her financial and the property status of the family. Dr Mahendra Mehta discussed the need for woman to know her rights. She should know about all the assets that are owned by the family such as shares, mutual funds, art and paintings, silver/gold/diamond ornaments, cash, real estate, etc. She should be aware of her property status, investments and retirement plans and she should have a proper understanding of taxation and various legal issues. He enlightened us on the financial issues, its understanding and methods of savings/long term plans. Adv Rajesh Mudholkar discussed the importance of 'Will Making', reading the finer prints and understanding the details which could help in facing the pressures of relatives. There were question/answer sessions which were discussed in great details and that added color and hue to the meeting. The seminar that lasted for over eight hours was not enough to satiate the curiosity of the empowered women. It was an interesting debate to drum the men’s minds and chew their brains for many more days, thereafter….