Just thinking...........

Is it right to criticize someone in their absence? I think we have no right to criticize anybody if we do not have guts to say the same thing on their face. By criticizing we are only conditioning the opinion of other person to look at the person from our angle. We are not giving people chance to make their own opinion. And what are we trying to prove? Are we trying to say that we are superior to them and that person is too week or selfish to meet our standard of expectations? And how does it help us? We are just wasting time in spreading negative vibrations and getting entangled in this web too. And what is the use? If we must criticize, then we must have the courage to do it on their face so that he can improve. There are people who can never change. We have to learn to accept them as they are. For example if the person is having hatred for everybody for no particular reason, then it is not possible for us to help her. How can we help her if she does not know that the problem exists? So, our criticizing her is not going to help her at all, on the contrary, it could make the matter worse. We can only help those who are ready to help themselves. The person has to first admit that the problem exists, she has to be aware that she is hating everybody for no reason at all. Once she recognizes that the problem exists then she can make an effort to change herself. We cannot help anybody who is not ready to accept that the problem exists. In that case, either we accept them as they are, or steer away from her horizon so that it does not bother us. But we are most concerned about people who we love. So what is love? Love is feeling in harmony with the other person, of being on the same wave length and accepting the person as they are, so that there is no conflict at all. Love is feeling oneness with the other person so that you begin to think like them. But many times we don’t understand the meaning of love and we start to suffocate the other person by getting too attached to them. By attaching our self to other, we are only causing pain to our self. We have to learn to live in this world in a detached manner. What is detachment? Detachment is unconditional love. It is unselfish love. A love without any expectation is detachment. To maintain a relationship with attachment is impossible. Too much attachment makes us encroach on their private space and then there is conflict. …….

Spam’s made a fool of me……

Some days ago I got a mail in my inbox with a subject line of ‘Yahoo warning me to verify my password or else I would have to face suspension.’ I hold a Yahoo email account since five years and I have never received a mail like that., although, I am aware of the amount of spam that are doing rounds. So when this mail warned me that due to congestion of Yahoo users, yahoo would be shutting down all unused account and that I should verify my email and my password to in order to avoid de-activation of my yahoo account, I got trapped into their bait and foolishly gave my email and the password. Then started another string of spam’s, that started floating from my account and they were very embarrassing for me. There were spam’s sent to all the people in my mailing list asking for money or sending porn’s from my email account. I ignored them all after reporting these spam mail to the Yahoo help line. One email really gave me the jitters. It thanked me for my support and was transferring huge sum money in certain bank under my name! Was the crime of transferring money really happening, I was not sure, but I did not want my name to be associated with such transaction at all. I panicked and called few friends asking them for their advice. I even lodged a complaint at the cyber crime police on the net informing them about my non-involvement. Later, when I spoke to my cousin, she asked me to just chill and relax. These crimes are very common in Africa and anybody who is foolish enough to do transactions without confirming it on phone has only himself to blame. Since I had not signed any papers or documents, I had nothing to worry about. However, after complaining to cyber police, and reporting that I am not responsible for any transaction of any money, I started to feel relaxed. I have changed my passwords (stronger this time, with the combination of Caps and numbers) and I am no more sending or reading any emails from my yahoo or hotmail accounts.