Home at last....

It took me nearly 24 hours to reach home in Tenerife and that includes flight time and transit time spend at the airports. My route was from Mumbai to Paris to Madrid to Tenerife. It felt like I have never been away although I am returning after three years. I live in a small town called Buen Paso, which is about 45 minutes from Los Rodeos airport in the north. I love the view on route, the streets are clean and colourful, and there is variety of flowers growing wildly on both sides of the road, red, yellow, orange, green, the sight is a treat to the eyes. Tourism is the main industry of Tenerife and every effort is made by the government to make the city worth its name. Road leading to my house View from my balcony. There are row houses opposite my house, each house is distinct from other by color. on left is the view of Atlantic ocean behind my house is new hospital which is still under construction and from my terrace there is a view og Teide, which is a dormant valcano and quite a tourist attraction.

Apeksha

Neha is very excited that I will meet her sponsored, nine-year-old mentally challenged child who lives 10000 miles away. My bags are packed for my trip back home. I am ready to leave the next day. “Will you take this gift for Apeksha?” she says as she shows me a box containing a pretty doll, dressed in blue knitted suit and cap, holding on to a soft, tiny teddy bear. “Oh that is lovely. Of course, I will take it for you. I am sure Apeksha will be thrilled.” I say Neha brings out a roll of colorful gift-wrapping paper, few strips of pink ribbons, a pair of scissors and a cello tape. She squats on the floor beside my deranged suitcase and starts to pack a gift for her sponsored child whom she has never met before. For next fifteen minutes, she carefully wraps the gift-box and makes a cute pink bow curling the free ends of the ribbon with a sharp edge of the scissors. She brings out a card, writes a message for Apeksha, seals envelop and writes in a bold letter on the top of the envelop ‘For Apeksha, with lots of love from Neha’. “On my next trip to India, I would like to meet her,” she says as she attaches the card and the pink bow on the gift-wrapped box and hand it over to me. “Sure, I will take you to school to meet her.” I say. The box is too beautiful to dump it in my suitcase. I decide to hand carry it. A week later, I go to the school carrying Apeksha’s gift. It is lunch break and I see Apeksha standing quietly and watching the other children play roller skating. “Apeksha, How are you? Look what I have for you” I say as I show her the gift wrapped box. She looks at me suspiciously and then looks away to watch the children play. ‘Come and see what Neha has sent for you.” Says her class teacher as she approaches her and holds her hand to bring her into the room, but Apeksha refuses to come inside and frees her hand, stares listlessly at me and returns her gaze back to those children with roller skates. Her teacher throws her arm around Apeksha and guides her gently into the room. I hand over the gift to Apeksha informing her that Neha is a friend who loves her too much and she has sent a gift for her. She takes the gift from my hand and sits on the chair facing me. “Open the gift. Don’t you want to see what your friend has sent for you?” I say She makes no effort to open it and just sits there, staring at the gift. Her teacher bends over her and helps her open the gift, removing the card, pink bow and detaching the cello tapes to expose the doll in blue suit with a soft, tiny teddy bear. “Do you like it? It is pretty. Isn’t it?” says her teacher ‘Hhmn!” she says and then gets up and walks out to watch the children play roller skating, leaving behind the box of doll, torn gift-wrapping paper, pink bow with curly frills and the unopened card, all carelessly scattered on the table next to me.

On the busy streets of Lagos

The car has stopped in the middle of the road and needs immediate attention. Due to bad oil, there is dirt in the carburetor. While the car is being repaired, I am waiting in the car. My car is parked under the shade of the tree, just below the bridge. On my right are palm trees. Each tree is labeled, it has its scientific name, tree name ad its uses. There is a royal palm tree which says is uses for decorative purpose and other shorter tree called Palm tree has its uses listed as edible oil. There are several hawkers resting under the tree. These hawkers are the ones who were hawking in the traffic jam. Here the traffic jam is called ‘goslow’ and these hawkers sell all kinds of wares at ‘goslow’. On my left, there is a bridge and I can see more than 50 hawkers in that small strip of the bridge. They sell all kinds of stuff and run after every car. It is so sunny and hot, and they have their clothes soaked with perspiration, when they are tired, they come here, on my right and rest under these trees.

Visit to Tropicana Beach Resort, Lagos, Nigeria

Set out to Tropicana Beach Resort in five cars, one behind another, total of twenty people to enjoy the sand and sunshine at Eleco Beach at Victoria resort. It was a beautiful ride through the tree lined roads and we reached the beach after one hour drive. we had to park the car outide the resort and we took a three wheeler to go inside the resort. The white glassy sands were shaded by the patches of sunlight that filtered through the rows of coconut trees. Major part of the afternoon was spend at the sea shore, combatting the wild waves against our skin. It was a wonderful day spend eating, chatting and enjoying the cool sea winds.

I don’t play Holi anymore.

Not that I don’t like this festival, (Actually I do) but the mess that follows later (cleaning the house and the bathrooms) is unnecessary waste of time. Early morning I heard the laughter of kids who were playing with color in the building compound. There were sounds of children running, shouting, and giggling. After saying a short morning prayers, I went to my bedroom balcony to watch the children play. Happily they sprinkled colors on faces of their friends, red, blue, green and the festival had arrived with vibrant hues and the celebration of life was here again. Hoil, the festival of colors, mischief, pranks, a day when you get away with any practical jokes and yet dance to a loud music. Holi is a festival of universal brotherhood and happiness. The bonfires that are lit on the eve of Holi are in reminder of the value of true faith in God. Many years ago, we would lit the fire in the lane and all the neighbors would come with coconut, sweets and water, and we would walk three times around the bonfire, break the coconut, sprinkle water and red color powder and then we would play games like antakshri or dumbsheras till late nights. This year I went with my sister to the corner of the street and watched while my sister went closer to the fire to pray. Didn’t want to risk walking around the bonfires, was afraid that I might slip on the wet ground and harm myself. Many years ago, we looked forward to these festivals and took part in all the festivities. We were young then, our vocal chord had higher decibels. We knew all the bollywood numbers and a great stamina to keep awake all night with friends and sing and laugh. Now, Holi is a day to celebrate with family, enjoying lunch, chat and play a game of cards with family and friends. I like to watch children play Hoil, like to watch youngster dance to the loud music and do rain dance, I enjoy this festival, but now I watch it from a distance. Not that I have become old, it is just that now my priorities have changed.

A true story ... of hope and determination

This is a true story of a woman, Shalini, who would help me cope with my housework When I lived in Spain, what I hated most was doing the odd jobs at home like sweeping, swabbing, dusting or washing clothes. Therefore,when I returned back to India, I started to enjoy the comfort of a helper which is easily available in India' I appointed Shalini to help me clean my house. Shalini worked in my house with a salary of just Rs500. Having her help in the house was a blessing I enjoyed and I was kind of living in luxury. She worked in four different houses in my building, doing the same job, over and over again, and seven days a week. I would ask her to take a day off and she would refuse telling me that she would be bored at home. Every evening, she would come to my house and make me a cup of tea, and while she and I sipped the tea together, she would relate to me the stories of her life and her family. Shalini had no husband and her family had cheated her out of the family property and she had been forced to work as a housemaid, because she was not educated nor qualified to do any other work. She had one daughter, Rupa, whom she would take with her everywhere because she did not trust the neighbor for her daughter's safety. While she worked, Rupa would sit and watch her mother do cleaning and swabbing at other people's houses. One day, Shalini's employer suggested that she educate her daughter, because she felt that her daughter was very pretty and education would do her good. On the insistence of her employer, she enrolled Rupa in the municipal school. Rupa would be seen following Shalini with a book in her hand. Rupa would get help in her studies from the children in the building, all the used books, and clothes were passed on to her from Shalini's employers. Rupa started to enjoy the attention she was getting from all people in the neighborhood and she took more interest in her studies and was getting good result. Years passed, Rupa grew up, educated and graduated. Shalini would tell me the stories of how people had helped her financially to get her daughter educated and how proud she was of her pretty, educated daughter. One day, she told me that Rupa had got a good job, she didn't know where her daughter was working but she said that she had started working in some office which was open all night and she had comapany transport at her service. I guessed it must be some call centre. While her daughter lived in style, she was still travelling by bus and doing menial work. For next six months, she would tell me about her daughter earning good salary, and improving her standard of living. First came, radio with stereo, then telephone, 24 inch TV, sewing machine, furniture and then washing machine....and she told me that her daughter wanted her to stop working as house maid, as she was making enough money to support her. But Shalini was a proud woman and she didn't want to live on her daughter's expense, so she continued to work in four houses, doing the same drab work that she had been doing for 25 years. Her own clothes were washed in the washing machine at home, while she washed people's clothes at work. I would wonder if her daughter was proud of her mother for getting her educated or was she ashamed of her mother, doing the menial work and earning only ten percent of her daughter's salary. She was a very good maid; she worked hard and was very honest. Many other employers did not want her to leave them. They were afraid they would not be able to replace her and therefore they discouraged her for their own selfish comforts. They were happy that she was a self respecting woman who did not want to live on her aughter's expenses. I ask her to leave the job and rest at home and tried to explain to her that she deserved to live comfortably because she had made an effort to educate her daughter but she would not listen, telling me that she would be bored at home. Her daughter got married and forced her to stay with her and it was her son-in-law who finally cajoled her into leaving the job and start enjoying the comfort in her old age. I lost a good maid but I was happy that her efforts had paid off. She visits me sometimes, and I feel happy to see her proud smile and glow on her face when she lovingly talks about her daughter's success. Cross posted on another blog on 'Unchaai – Crying for Love’ at http://unwantedgirlchild.blogspot.com/2008/03/true-story-of-hope-and-determination.html

This Saturday I attended a seminar on ‘Woman and Legal/property Right’.

It was quite an interesting event with the attendance of over one hundred ladies and it also included few men. Most of the women came loaded with their own pockets of grievance, hoping to find solutions to their problems that related to their property rights We had different speaker that included Adv. Y.P.singh, ADV. Arvind Jain, Dr Mahendre Mehta, Adv Rajesh Mudholkar. Dr Indu Shahani, the women ‘Sheriff of Mumbai City’ was the chief guest. She is the driving force behind women’s empowerment and she has coordinated with various NGO’s in addressing the various problems of women. She has started a helpline (call 1298) for women who are facing sexual or violence harassments. She pointed out to the powers of the youth and how they can be encouraged in redefining leadership. Dr Shashi Sharma, WGG Chairperson, expressed the need for the mind set of the society to change, citing different examples about how a girl is programmed to work and help in the housework while boys are encouraged to study or to play. The division of the responsibility and difference in sex privileges are marked out at early age. She stressed the need to change this mind set and believed that everybody could be encouraged to perform to their best of their ability, irrespective of their sex preferences Advocate, Ms Flavia Agnes, chairperson of MAJLIS, spoke about the different sexual and violence problems that women are facing and leading them to commit suicide. The issues of dowry death, sexual harassment and violence have not increased over the years, but it seems so, because initially many of these crimes would go unreported. There is a vulnerability of the women that subjects them to crime and violence. They are afraid to report because they are blamed for the crime. She argued that women would not commit suicide if she is educated and independent and has her own bank account. She believes that woman should not marry under the pressure of family and society; she should first be educated and independent and marry only when she is ready to marry some one of her choice. It should not be mandatory but it should be a decision of one’s free will. She stressed the fact that if woman is educated and has a position of power, nobody can touch her. General scenario of property laws for women was discussed by advocate Arvind Jain. After 56 years of independence, woman is still discriminated in becoming an heir to the estate on par with her counterpart man. In fact, discrimination, though unconstitutional in the face of sacred Article 14 of the constitution is not uniform and does not guarantee that no citizen shall be discriminated on the basis of sex. Needless to say, thus, the laws which aim at empowering the vulnerable section of the society must not be read down. After the delicious, vegetarian lunch of assorted vegetables, snacks, ice cream and sweets, second segment of the seminar continued. Adv Y.P. Singh focused on women's denied rights and how we could deal formally/ informally/legally with them. He stressed the need for ‘Right to Information’ he said that it is very important to be well informed of all the assets and the liability of the family wealth and weigh the options with a open mind. Woman of the house should know her financial and the property status of the family. Dr Mahendra Mehta discussed the need for woman to know her rights. She should know about all the assets that are owned by the family such as shares, mutual funds, art and paintings, silver/gold/diamond ornaments, cash, real estate, etc. She should be aware of her property status, investments and retirement plans and she should have a proper understanding of taxation and various legal issues. He enlightened us on the financial issues, its understanding and methods of savings/long term plans. Adv Rajesh Mudholkar discussed the importance of 'Will Making', reading the finer prints and understanding the details which could help in facing the pressures of relatives. There were question/answer sessions which were discussed in great details and that added color and hue to the meeting. The seminar that lasted for over eight hours was not enough to satiate the curiosity of the empowered women. It was an interesting debate to drum the men’s minds and chew their brains for many more days, thereafter….

March Read Meet under Open Skies.

One more lovely evening, I attended with my Caferati folks, this time in South Mumbai, Kemps Corner, to be exact. The theme this month was on sharing notes on the workshops that we had attended during Kala Ghoda Festival in February 2008. I was surprised by the number of people who were anxious to attend. The members at the read-meets were dwindling lately, sometimes as low as five members, but this read-meet was choc-a-bloc. Writers were waiting for some other members to drop out, so that, they could be accommodated. Was it because there were notes to be shared or was it because it was at a convenient location? Whatever, I think people always need a reason to attend, especially if they are not a regular. And, members who attended were not disappointed. Who would? A read meet on a terrace, facing the sea, a generous crowd, who is willing to share their knowledge with people, some of those, whom they are meeting for the first time, a perfect hostess, Kareena Merchant, who made everybody comfortable with her warm chats and tasty chaats and a meticulous organizer, Suniti Joshi, who did lot of leg work alone and yet, so precisely perfect. Hats off to Suniti, who always takes extra effort and time and responds to every member patiently! I was lucky this time to find two friends, who were willing to share a taxi with me and we reached at the venue on the dot of 5pm. After warm up and the introduction of 27 members in Kareena’s house, we went upstairs to the terrace to bathe in the sunshine amidst the cool winds of the open seas. The meeting continued with poem read by Jaya Bhandari, a fiction by Soma Sarkar and a descriptive poem by John. So engrossed was I in their readings, that I forgot to watch the sun-set. (Actually I was sitting in a wrong direction, facing the tall buildings and a cliff of the ‘Hanging Gardens’), But I saw a black bird, resting up there, on a TV antenna, who wanted an audience too, but his verses swayed in the breeze. A short break after the readings was not very short because the snacks were too tasty. It takes time to eat Sev Puri, sandwiches, batatwadas and walnut cake and drown it with a cup of tea/coffee. Second session started with Suniti sharing her ‘Performance Poetry’, Ramesh on ‘Writing for Children’, Samarth on ‘Screen Writing’ Archana on ‘Pastoral Poetry and Kareena on “Freelancing’. I was aware of the time limit of the read meet, and I wanted to hear about other’s experience (and not waste my time, hearing myself speak,) therefore I had prepared notes (Xeroxed it 15 times) on the points that were discussed during the workshop on ‘Getting Published’ and I was happy to distribute it to those, who were interested. I am glad I did that, because the meeting had extended for too long, (9:30pm) and it was getting very late to reach back home. Some of the busy members had to rush off half way to attend to their other commitments, and I was glad that I was able to share my notes with them too.