A Joke sent to me by my friend...heheheehehee!

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache." It Worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his Clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He Puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes Back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With That, He goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my Wife. She's Not my wife. She's not my wife..." His funeral service will be held on Friday.

Funny kids nowadays! Studying on their mobile? How silly!

During our college days, the exam periods were the most interesting days. We would make plans to study at night. Some times we would have competitions on who studies the maximum hours. (some times, I would cheat by catching a small slumber with my light on, fooling my competitor that I was still studying) Then we would have friends stay over, to keep us awake so that we could chat/eat/make coffee in between our serious studies. Some times we would go out in the middle of the night to eat Paav Bhaji (Yes, pav bhaji and egg bhorji would be available during all night) and some times we would rush off during the early hours and eat the half-fry egg and drink Irani Chai. Our studying sessions were filled with laughter and thrill. But all that has changed! Nowadays, they spend too much time on internet or they are out all night, surfing discothèque of different suburbs and that leaves them with little time to actually prepare for their exams. And what should I say of this? In this new technological age, our future generation will just switch on their handset and answer the multiple choices available on it to prepare for their exams! And they are going to study material for competitive exams like the GRE, CET or CAT! This initiative will be called the ‘Prep Guide’ and this service will be available on phones through WAP/SMS/voice and multiple applications and would involve major operators to provide the service. All an aspiring student has to do is go to a particular study zone, type the code and avail of the services, just for Rs100. EnableM, a wireless application company, has come up with such a solution. It has tied-up with the Institute of Management Studies (IMS) to launch comprehensive MBA study material on phones within a month It is a comprehensive module catering to all the learning requirements for an MBA training program, which comprises of an English zone, Math zone, logic and reasoning and must-knows. Booo! How boring! Alas, the young kids of today may not understand nor enjoy our kind of pure fun. They can study in those crowded, smoky, ‘Kaffee’ zones.

Comics with bold messages like HIV/AIDS

During my growing up days, I found it easier to read comics because they had lot of pictures and it ended faster. I would enjoy comics like Tintin, Archies, Phantom, Batman and many more. Many of my friends discouraged me from reading those comics debating that it murdered the English grammar but since it was easier to understand, with everything left to imagination, and it worked for me. Comics are not merely for kids any more. There are new set of comics, in market nowadays, like - "Josh Mein Hosh" (Passion with Sense), "Khoon Ka Katra" (Just a drop of blood), "Savdhan Senior" (On your guard, senior) and "Pyar Ka Packet" (A packet of love) that are interwoven with messages on HIV/AIDS, and conveys the message that it is wrong to presume that "girlfriends must be meek and submissive and that a sexually aggressive woman is bad. The aim of these comics is to change social attitude and dispel the popular notion of masculinity that makes young men in urban slums indulge in violence against women and use condoms only when having a relationship with sex workers. There has been an urgency to bring out these educational comic books because in 2006, about 30 percent of HIV infections were reported in the 15 to 20 age group. Existing literature shows that young Indian men subscribe to norms of masculinity that lead to risky behavior and to change this, discussions were held with young men to understand their media habits, message retention from HIV campaigns, myths and misconceptions.. Participants were encouraged to relate real life incidents so that these comics echoed true stories. The draft stories were pre-tested in discussions with young men in urban slums and their feedback was incorporated in the final version The state and district AIDS control societies in Andhra Pradesh and Delhi have integrated elements of their campaign into the comic book series and have endorsed the products The Population Council and four other NGOS have brought out this set of comics, in four languages - Bengali, English, Hindi and Telugu. Several NGOs have been approached to integrate this package within existing outreach activities and to distribute these comics Will the illitrate population show any interest in such comics? Time will tell.

How can we help these moral policemen in saffron forces?

Sex is the most controversial topic in our Indian society. Whenever there is an assault or freedom of expression in an open space it arouses a great interest in majority of population. Lately, two people who have been in news are Shilpa Shetty (a Bollywood filmstar) and Chandra Mohan (Lalit Kala Akademi awardee from Baroda). Shilpa, who was taken by surprise when Richard bend her over in a poise, like in ‘Shall We Dance” created quite an uproar. Although the kiss was only on cheeks, people responded as though they had witnessed a porno. A criminal case was registered against her in the judicial magistrate courts of Jodhpur, Ghaziabad and Mundawar (Alwar) which is now moved to Mumbai. Then, there was arrest of Chandramohan, an art student of the MS University in Baroda on charges of ‘objectionable’ display of art work. He was arrested by moral police in saffron forces and was charged with non-bail offences, including inciting communal disharmony and public obscenity, which violated his right to express himself. It is very obvious that political parties target sensitive subjects like these to fulfill personal motives or even gain some cheap publicity. If only they would target their anger on more important issues and try to bring change in the nation in a more constructive way. If only they could focus their attention on more important problems. For example, we have one suicide in every eight hours. More than half of those who committed suicide were between 20 and 45, their most productive years. More than two thousand farmers have committed suicide in last five years and most of them have done so due to their inability to cope with stress or poverty. If only they would help these poor farmers and create opportunities for them to live with dignity. If only we knew how we could shift the focus of these moral policemen to these more important issues. We would personally help them, if we could. What can we possibly do?

I Can Prove that I am a Mumbaite.

I will say "town" and I expect you to know that this means south of Churchgate. (In Bandra, it is a suburb) I speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Mumbaiya Hindi', which only mumbaites can understand.(Samjhe kya?) My door has more than three locks (Two strong one and one latch). Rupees 500 worth of groceries can fit in one paper bag.(its quite expensive here) Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of my close friend’s life.(and they won’t speak to me, not even on their mobile) I spend more time each month traveling than I spend at home. (it takes me more than four hours to pay a visit of two hours at my school) I call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall. (Can’t help it) My paying guests are paying Rupees 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and they think it's a "steal." (and I let them believe it) I have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay. Cabbies and bus conductors think I am from Mars if I call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road . Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which my nieghbours follow passionately. (and they are happy to share) The first thing that we read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.(or a midday) I take fashion seriously. (I update my knowledge on TV) I am suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to me. I cannot see Hookers, beggars and the homeless at traffic signals (I am always short of change) I always compare Mumbai to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India. (NY’s Queens suburb is quite backward) The most frequently used part of my car is the horn. ( I wonder how they clear traffic in western world) I insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.(Why did they change it any way?) I consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. (what do they want, huh?) My idea of personal space is no one actually standing on my toes. (my friends can call me before every visit) Being truly alone makes me nervous.(I would rather go to a crowded mall) I love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.(specially if we fall in the open manhole) Only in Mumbai I can get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken. (and it is available at every cross road) Don’t get confused when in Mumbai, follow your instinct not the name...Because.... Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station. There is no darkness in Andheri. Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden. No king ever stayed at Kings Circle. Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus. Nor is there any princess at Princess Street. Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines. The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi. There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar. Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps. Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.). Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital. Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water. You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street. There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl. There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada. Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market. Null bazaar does not sell taps You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar. Kalachowki does not have a black Police station. Hanging Gardens are not suspended. Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies. Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi, Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi, Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!!! so Beware!