Old age Blues

Off late, I have been highly disturbed by the plight of old people and I keep worrying about my own old age. Will I age gracefully or will I be a vegetable? Every palm reader has informed me of ripe old age, but would I like to live too long?? I believe they are cursing me. What else should I say? If I were to live to be very, very old, will I be as healthy as I am today? Not that I am perfectly healthy today, but I have got so used to living with continuous pain all my life that I cease to care.

But the pain I see in the senior people's life puts me into a depression mode. The other day, I was talking to this 65 year old woman. In her youth she worked as a lecturer of History and then graduated as an accountant in her brother's export house. Five years ago, she retired and has been depressed since then. With her deteriorating eye sight, she cannot read, her frail health (arthritis) has stalled her day-to-day activities. The only healthy organ in her body is her tongue, which is the source of sorrow to her happiness and to others too. She complains that nobody ever spends much time with her and she finds her days, way too long. I suggested old age home to her, where she could find company with her like-minded people but her family members were aghast by such suggestion.

In India, old people require too much attention and only a dedicated volunteer is able to give that kind of attention. But in times like these, there is scarcity of dedicated volunteers too. In Indian society, it is a disgrace to sent away your aging parents to an old-age home as a result the personal life of family members suffers. One of my close friends had to resign from her steady and secure job (of teaching special children in Dubai) to take care of her ailing mother who is suffering from Parkinson's disease and her father, who cannot see clearly. Her life revolves around her parents; her dedication towards them is amazing. It requires lot of sacrifices, she has neither any social life, nor movies, nor late nights, nor long walks alone by the sea-shore, nor does she have time to read a book! Many times, I see her highly depressed and I suggest her to do some short term course so that she can keep herself up-to-date, but she has no time to learn or attend any workshop.

In Europe it is different. During my regular visits to Spain, I find old people happy and enjoying every moment of their lives. I meet them at the beaches, at the clubs, and even at beauty parlors. They take good care of themselves, live on their own and are fashionably dressed. Some of them even have a novio(boyfriend) The state looks after their needs and they are treated like royalty. They have active senior citizen groups who go regularly on state sponsored trips. Even the sick and weak one is well cared for. The family members don't have to sacrifice their personal lives to volunteer their help. Last year, when I was admitted in the hospital for my broken arm, I was sharing a room with an old woman. Her laughter was so contagious that it had nurses and care takers in splits.

I am not saying that all old people in Europe are cheerful and all old people in India are depressed. It's just the attitude of the people. There were some sad ones there too who sat by their window, gazing at the empty street but those were very few. They are not like Indians, whose second nature is to worry and take unnecessary stress of things they cannot control and whine in self-pity over their incapability. European are more open and receptive. Maybe, it's the clean air, good food and quality of life style which keep them cheerful, the acceptance of living independently and not taking unnecessary stress of the family who are grown-ups now, or/and, of letting go of the responsibility of the household and a desire to enjoy the rest of the life in peace.

I don't wish to live in Europe, I like living in India, but that is the attitude I wish to maintain when I come of age. But can we live with that kind of attitude in India? Can we really live a stress free life?

Do you think old age is a curse???? What would you do to make your own old age interesting????

Open-Mike Poetry Performance

Every fourth Tuesday of the month, Prithvi theatre café is not just a meeting place to romance over a cup of coffee, it is a special venue for poets to perform their poetry.

Yes, I do like to write poems but performance for me is light years away.

When I reached at Prithvi today, my friend asked me to recite a poem. Now, a shy person like me, who hates to be stared at, can I ever perform my poems in front of strangers?

Nah! I just cannot.

I like to sit there and listen to other poets, while sipping coffee. Most of the poems today were in Hindi and I find Hindi poems very different from English. I mean to say that English poems have meter and form and they are more chiseled, where as Hindi poems are very free flowing and quite dramatic. Well, that’s performance, I guess. People enjoyed and hooted at shayaris but during English poems, they just nodded their heads.

Maybe I should write something in Hindi too.

What is the moral of this story??

I got this humorous email that says: “If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America because of the following: Where are you going? With whom? Why? How are you going? To discover what? Why you? What do I do, when you are not here? Can I come with you ? Coming back when? Dinner ghar par hi khaoge? Mere liye kya laoge? It seems you deliberately made this ....Hain na... Why? Dont lie.... Why r u making such programs You seem to be making a lot of such programs….Why? I want to go to my parents place I want you to come and leave me I don’t want to come back.... I will never come back.... Why are u not stopping me.... I don’t understand what is this discovery chakker? You always do like this..... Last time also u did like this.... Now a day’s u always seem to do like this.... I still don’t understand what else is balance to be discovered... Itne sab questions ke baad..... America kya, he may not have reached the front porch of his house.” Hahaahaha and Ha!!! What this person doesn’t know is that today, it’s the men who ask too many questions… and then…like babies they whine…all the time… Women have learnt to take everything in their stride They have learnt to live in this world with grace and pride Managing their workplace and also thier home Leaving fragrance of fresh flowers in thier comfort zone If men choose to have a woman by his side And still if he wishes to travel for extra dime She can wait till dawn and never ever yawn She is happy to relax in her social networks lawns.

Diwali is just round the corner

To enjoy the true essence of Diwali festival, one should be in India. Last year I was in Spain, and I tried to create the atmosphere of the festival so that my brother’s kids, who have never visited India during this time, could experience this festival. I made rangoli, prepared sweets at home, performed Laxmi pooja at our shop and then went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, but that was all that we could do. No fire crackers, no lighting of Diyas in the house, no meeting people and no wishing every second person ‘Happy Diwali’ Ah nothing….. But this year, I hope, it is going to be different; I hope it to be the way I like it. The kids in my building are quite excited. I see them every evening with a big basket of fire crackers, having competitions of being the loudest joker. They pretend they are brave but take full five minutes to burst a tiny cracker, cowards! The only brave thing they can do is to burn fooljari. (sparklers). During my growing up days, there was great variety of firecrackers available in the market, like those triangular and circular fountains that sprinkled sparklers in the air, then there was a whistle that would go whizzing up in the air, sometimes in wrong direction chasing a frightened person. Then there were rockets, which we would keep in sleeping position at the end of the lane and see it flying parallel to the ground. We had snakes emerging from a small black tablet, there were chaklis that would go round and round, throwing sparklers in all directions. I don’t see these kids with such simple firecrackers any more, (I am sure they must be available but these kids don’t seem to like it) they just like those loud bombs, which me thinks, gives them thrills, you see them blinking their eyes, covering their ears and waiting for it to explode and then jumping and laughing, like tiny terrorists. I don’t even see any adults with these kids, except the watchman or a maid. Parents, aunts, uncles and relatives are too busy with their own lives to bother accompanying their kids. The streets are decorated with lights and lanterns, retail shops are eagerly waiting for shoppers, but everything is so damn expensive that sitting at home and networking seems like a better option.

Are There Two Indias In One Bus Route? - Will “1 thru 10 for India” help?

I am seated in an AC bus, comfortably settled, with a book and digital camera on my lap, on my right is this young man, surfing the net. Yeah, there is socket in this bus for people to use their laptop. Some have closed their eyes and are already in deep meditation while others are humming the song. The Bollywood music is playing in the background and it is calming the nerves of all the passengers. How much better can the life get? “India is shining” and I grin shyly. The bus stops momentarily at a signal and I look out on the streets. A five-year-old child smiles at me, raising her hand to wave at me, another child, six-year-old cradles one-year-old in his arms. I am thinking if somebody could guide them to the nearest pre-school where they could discover the magic world of words. They shouldn’t be here on these dirty streets at such a tender age. Ouch! "India is NOT shining" on other side of my window. Should I de-sensitize myself and not look in the direction of “other India”? The “Other India” is as much a reality as the “India Shining”? Is that fair? Is that right? Can we lend a helping hand? Do you care? Will you make your 3 days count? Can you go do something good for your country? Will you do something for the “Other India”? More on the topic including the "Africa in Peril" presentation that influenced/inspired 1 to 10